Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Fire and Lubrication.

Nice title eh? That's what's called a hook. Anyhow, I just wanted to share an analogy I came up with this weekend after a couple of beers, and after mulling it over in a sober brain for a few days, still feel it's one of the best I've come up with in quite some time.

First a little background. In case you don't know me, my life situation is this: I am a stay at home mom. Sure I do some piece work writing from time to time, and consider myself a writer, but I make just barely enough to pay for yarn and karate class. My husband is the one who brings home the bacon. (Although, in literal terms I am the one who brings home actual bacon as I work at a farm in the summer in exchange for a veggie and pork share). This husband of mine works super hard at a job he likes fairly well. Now, this whole stay at home mom thing is a pretty sweet deal. I get to watch my kid all day - even though at times she's super super annoying and it's really hard to not just stick her in daycare and run off to something, anything that won't make me want to rip my hair out - and for the most part we do cool stuff, like go to the library, beach, play dates, walks, other cool stuff. I also do some stuff that is kinda sucky, like clean, and go grocery shopping. I tell you this because it is important to note that being a stay at home mom is neither always sucky or always awesome. In too many articles I've read it leans way far over one way or the other.

For quite some time, due to my own predilection to analyzing everything I do, and the ongoing "mommy wars" (In case you don't know there's a war waging over who is right - stay at homers or worker moms. I think they both are. Anyway if you want to know more about it google it. It can get pretty damn nasty.) I sometimes feel like my role is not as important as Mike's. Not because of anything he has said or done, but lets face it, if he didn't have the job he does we would be screwed. It pays the bills, keeps us fed, he is in essence the provider for us. How does taking care of Mags and vacuuming compare to keeping a roof over our heads?

This is where the sweet analogy came in. I love it. It makes me super happy and feel peaceful about my job. Without further adieu here it is: Our family unit is an engine. Mike provides the fuel to keep it going, and I provide the oil to make sure everything runs smoothly. Since an engine can't run without either, both are equal in importance. If we run out of gas we are dead on the side of the road, no oil and the engine seizes.

How perfect is this analogy? I'm totally gloating about it. I love it. It was, as Oprah would say, an AHA! moment for me. Anyhow, I would love to hear what y'all think of it. I could probably write more on this topic but I have things to do. And really, I just wanted to get the idea down and out there.

Peace out, my people.

1 comment:

_oe said...

I made a somewhat similar observation in front of Brooks' family, though it wasn't well recieved. I was speaking generally about our life together, and yes, also happy on adult beverages.

I said, "See Brooks is like a general, and me, I'm just a lowly lieutenant ... now the general gives the orders, but of course, as you well know, it's really the lieutenants that run the thing."

That's a direct quote. I'm famous for these little half-pissed scraps of ugly wisdom. Yours is stronger ... though i don't know anything about engines or the army.

Oldies but Goodies: