Throwing Tea at Parapeligics.

What? What is she talking about, throwing tea at paraplegics?" Intriguing isn't it? That's what we in the biz call "a hook" I will get to that in a moment. First order of business - the list - of course. I finished a kick ass sweater/coat for Mags yesterday. Sorry for the crappy pic. but you can get a hint of the awesomeness from this I'm sure. A couple other events of note which also go on the list, I went to the Rising Tide annual meeting last weekend, which is something I have been meaning to do for years and years. Also, I went to the flower show, which is something I do every year, but I'm gonna make it fit somehow. Hm, I know there's more but I'm slack and I can't think of it right now. Ok, now a little story.


The other day I met my friend Amy for breakfast at the coffee shop, where we had a nice visit, then I purchased a large tea to go. Mags and I then proceeded on to Hannaford to buy a million dollars worth of groceries. I entered Hannaford at the same time as this woman - I presume the mom - and teen aged girl in a wheel chair. Two things you need to know - one is that we ran into them like every aisle, and every time they came down the aisle I was always doing something obnoxious like blocking the aisle and reading labels. Two, I am infinitely paranoid about Maggie saying something rude to people in wheelchairs, since according to my mom, when I was about Maggie's age, that was my deal. Every time I saw someone in a wheelchair I would point and loudly exclaim one of the following: "MOM LOOK AT THAT MAN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? WHY ARE THEY IN A MACHINE?!" embarrassing the hell out of my mother on numerous occasions. Nice huh?

So here I am in Hannaford over by the meat section and Mags says, let's get some Hot Dogs! I swing the cart around, and her little croc shoe flies off. I had been picking them off the ground the entire shopping trip as they were too big and as she grew increasingly more disenchanted with the shopping process, she would swing her legs back and forth really fast in the cart, causing them to fling farther each time. Anyhow, I go to grab the croc in mid fall with one hand, and somehow, I'm not really sure how it happened, I spaz out with my other hand and just fling my cup of tea. The tea (which thank ye gods was only lukewarm at this point) careened in an arch as if being filmed for a sitcom, before splatting on the floor directly under the girl in the wheelchair. Dudes, if there had been a quarter of an inch difference it would have landed directly in her lap.

Mortification. Profound embarrassment. Menacing Vibrations. I say something like "I'msosorryitwasn'thotI'mjusttryingtodotoomanythingsatonceknowwhatImean'mreallyreally sorry" - insert really lame nervous smile here - to the girl's mom. Girl's mom stares at me like I'm a crazy person and says nothing. Girl in chair sits there. Luckily there was a deli guy standing practically right next to me when it happened, AND had a little box of paper towels with him. He hands me the box and I go over to clean it up. Meanwhile my own two year old is sitting in our cart growing impatient, and I start to worry that she will climb out. I rush over to the tea which is all over the floor underneath the girl's chair and start cleaning up. The towels are those crappy industrial kind, so they were about as effective as cleaning with copier paper. The girl's mom did not move the chair, and just stood and stared at me while I stretched and leaned and tried to get the tea up from the floor underneath her daughter's legs. Finally she jerks the chair back and cruises off. "Sorry!" I shout after her. Still not a word. Oh and did I mention that the deli guy was just standing there watching the whole scene and doing nothing for like six hours? Finally he goes into the back and comes out with a mop, which thankfully he used himself, I fully expected he was just going to hand it to me and walk off. I took off and finished my shopping uneventfully. Luckily all Mags had to say was "Mama why did you throw your tea on the ground?" to which I responded "Because I'm a spaz."

Why does the weirdest stuff always happen to me at Hannaford? I seriously can't wait until RT can expand and I can truly do 100% of my shopping there. I think that if studies were done, it would be established quickly that Hannaford is indeed in the center of some vortex of weirdness.

Gak. I will be updating my stats later today. Progressing nicely - except of course the weight loss one, which will be shooting towards success very soon because 1. I dreamed I was on the Biggest Loser last night, I think that's like a sign from god or something and 2. I have some friends who are getting married in October and I have this dress I have been saving for a special occasion or until I can fit into it (sz 8) for like ohhh 3 years. I optimistically purchased it right after I had Mags. But mark my words, I WILL be wearing it to their wedding. I'll post a pic of it on here soon.

Next knitting project - I hope to finish a hat for my brothers in law (yes that's plural, they have both asked for hats) before I start the yarn smackdown competition at the end of this month. I'll post the deets of that later, this is already starting to look more like a novel than a blog.

I promise I will keep you suckas up to date more often, at least twice a week.