Sorry

Sorry these pictures in my last post are all fracked up. Blogger is seriously lacking in some features such as - your blog preview actually matching what your published blog looks like. I should be used to this, it's a lot like working with a Microsoft product.

Christmas and Things of That Nature.

Happy Holidays people! I have been very busy reading and knitting - AND in addition to writing this blog post for you, I actually have pictures of my knitted gifts for you all to peruse. Merry Christmas! It's like two gifts in one. Getting two birds stoned at once and all that. Here goes:

4 Hats:











One Headband Thing:












One set of Leg Warmers.







Four sets of Mittens ( I know there are only 3 here, but I knit another set tiny and pink - like the gray ones.)
I've also finished 3 audio books: The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell - Double Woot. Blink by Malcom Gladwell - Double Woot. And Blaze by Richard Bachman - Woot (but just barely).

I have a pair of socks for my dad half way done - which means one sock down - which I will be giving him for Christmas with an IOU for the other sock.

I'm totally in good shape to complete these two goals by Jan. 6th - go me. Also I have been thinking a lot about the list for next year, it's going to be quite a bit different. All will be revealed in Jan. I know you can't wait to find out since you don't have anything better to do than sit around pondering what I will be adding to my blog next year. Admit it.

Peace.

Ugh. and Yay!

Quick Update: Finished another knitting proj. last night. Woot! Most of what I am knitting, well ALL of what I am knitting right now is for XMAS presents, and so, won't be posting the descriptions etc. until later. But I am making progress, so woot for me!

Minor setback on the books. I started listening to "The Last Fish Tale" by Mark Kurlansky last night while I was working. Dudes. So fracking boring. I seriously can't bear to listen to any more. I don't know if it's the reader or what. I thought it was going to be an interesting book about the decline of the fishing industry with some cool stories about Gloucester MA thrown in for color. Yeah, not really. It's just basically a history of facts about the area. Also it is rife with inconsistencies. For example: at first he says how the whole island is made up of people from many different cultures who have always welcomed/needed new comers because so many people die off from fishing accidents. Then a half hour or so later he talks about how mean the "locals" were to new comers from other countries. Ugh. Anyway it's a fracking snoozefest.

I will add one weird thing though, he was talking about this storm that killed a bunch of fishermen, I think about 115 of them. Anyway, it was on an unseasonably warm December 15th. The wind came up and smashed all the boats. Anyway it was super weird because the weather was exactly the same yesterday as it was on that day in ye olde times.

Sorry, this is just a really long way to tell you that The Last Fish Tale is out. And I can't even finish it, even in this late hour and 2 hours into the audiobook. It rates a double poopsandwich with a side of boogers. I will be starting The Partly Cloudy Patriot by Sarah Vowell later today. Now there's a woman who knows how to take boring history and make it intersting. If you've never read/listened to Ms. Vowell I highly recommend her.

That's all.

Getting Two Birds Stoned at Once.

Yeah, I wish I could take credit for the title, but no. It's from the Trailer Park Boys, which if you haven't seen yet, consider this my Xmas present - go watch it. Seriously, it will be the funniest thing you watch all year.

In going through this list for the past year, I have noticed that many of my activities allow me to get two birds stoned at once as far as the list is concerned. For example, reduce spending $30 per week and reduce household spending 30% definitely go together and were both achieved.

A number of "things I've been meaning to do" - which I don't think the numbers on the side accurately depict the amount I have completed, I'm going to have to make a list - have items that fall into other categories. Two major instances were the purchase of a clothesline for outside which reduced our electricity bill in the summertime, and the purchase of 6 chickens this spring. The chickens not only produce eggs and thereby save us money on our food budget, but they also eat all of our leftover scraps which would have gone into a compost pile. The thing is about that last statement, my compost pile is pretty sad and is way out at the end of my lawn, I often neglected to put things in it just because it's a pain to hike to in the winter. Also my dog used to eat stuff out of it. Gross. So you see, the chickens also take care of another thing I had been meaning to do: start compost pile. Now I don't need to. Another multiple category item was the purchase of 1/2 a pig and 1/4 of a cow from local farmers. Something I've been meaning to do, decreases household spending, AND supports local agriculture - BooYa!

This week I have been knitting and reading like crazy because I really want to complete those two goals. I am relying solely on my Amazon list/widget and much to my dismay discovered a couple of books missing from the list just now when I added Lisey's story. WTF. Thanks Amazon. I'm sure it's missing a couple of my books. I'm going to have to make an actual list with ye olde pen and paper some time this week. Anyway, as I was saying, I have been listening to audio books WHILE knitting. I finished Lisey's Story by Stephen King which I highly recommend. It was fanatstic. And I finished knitting 2 hats, and a weird ear warmer thing that I don't really like, but I'm not ripping it out. Tonight I will start on a pair of mittens, since they are the only knit Xmas gift that was actually requested. I don't have pictures of this stuff becuse since the Tea-Saster Mike has taken control of uploading things to his computer. Oh also, I'm lazy. Don't worry, I will have a knit pic. extravaganza one of these days.

Disregard my last reading list - I think I'm in Audio only territory from here on out:

The Last Fish Tale
Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas
Duma Key
Microthrills

and something else, I dunno yet. .

Cyas

Twilight is lame.

Morning. I'll get to the list break down tomorrow. Right now I'd like to review the two Twilight books I read and try to regain any respect you once had for me which you lost immediately upon learning that I read not one but two of these horrific teen girl lollipop novels.

First off, you should know that one of the things I have learned in the past couple years or so is that popular doesn't necessarily mean bad. I am by nature kind of a snob when it comes to popular things, as in "if it's popular it probably sucks." As of late I have been proven wrong by: No Country For Old Men, Juno, Amy Winehouse, Cold Play, Harry Potter, and Anne Rice novels (her pre born-again Christian ones that is). Side note - I really hope Ms. Winehouse gets her shit together and doesn't die, she really is a great talent. However I hesitate buying any of her music because I don't want to directly contribute funds to a young woman's death by drug overdose.

Upon reading and throughly enjoying Harry Potter and The Interview With the Vampire series after avoiding them like a plague for years - even though people told me I would really enjoy them, I figured hey I like vampires even though these are super popular books, why the hell not. Dudes. Horrible does not begin to describe these books. When I was reading the first one - Twiglight I was actually embarrassed to be reading it. You know how you feel when your significant other catches you watching some truly horrible TV show, like a Lifetime movie or The Girls Next Door? Yeah, it felt like that. If Mike could see what I was reading, he would have teased me unmercifully for days. And here's why:

1. Writing is very simplistic and cheezy.
2. Has a very lame romance novel tone and feel, yet no sex at all.
3. Soooooo sloooow. Could have been about half as long.
4. Plot holes you can drive a truck through.
5. Worst dialog I have ever read.

Wow. That's really shitty right? Yeah. It was. So shitty in fact when I finished the first one I sat right down and wrote my own vampire novel, because if this shit can sell....But wait- you are thinking to yourself - didn't you say you read TWO of these shitbombs? Yeah I did. I have used the following metaphor to explain my lack of judgment to a couple of my people "These books are like Easter Peeps, they are sickly sweet, mostly air, and leave a nasty taste in your mouth. You know how horrible and gross they are when you start eating them, but you just keep going and don't stop until your tummy really hurts. You then swear them off forever, only to come back and do it again next year." Yes, these are the Easter Peeps of books. Also, in my defense, they are really super easy and fast to read and I have to boogey to get meet my goal. But just indulge me for one minute more about the other two majorly annoying things about these books.

First, they are romance novels with no sex, and hardly any kissing. The dude is a vampire and the chick is a human and allegedly if they do it, he will kill her because he won't be able to control himself and he will suck all of her blood out. As one of my friends put it "If I'm going to read a shitty romance novel, there at least better be some sex". There isn't any in this book because it's written for teenage girls by a Mormon author. I have no doubt that moms are pushing these books on their daughters like crazy. I get why young girls might read these, but grown women reading them and getting all gaga is just weird. And kind of sad.

Secondly, these books are supposed to be about vampires right? And later werewolves too. She does NOT follow the rules at all. This really pisses me off. As a huge fan of the horror genre, there are rules goddammit. You can bend them a little, but she throws out every single vampire rule there is. These guys can go out in the sun, see their reflections, are immune to crosses and garlic, can live off of non-human blood - the blood of animals and whatnot, and can only be killed by other vampires OR werewolves. Laaaaaaaaaaaame. OMG so lame. IF you want to write about vamps, at least try to write about vampires - know what I mean?

Anyway, that's enough about these books. I give them both a poop sandwich, even though I originally rated them a meh. On another note - I almost knit an entire hat last night AND started the second Interview with a Vampire novel - The Vampire Lestat. Rice knows her shit and is a good writer. Oh, and in case you're wondering my reading schedule is as follows;

Vampire Lestat - Anne Rice
Skinny Legs and All - Tom Robbins
Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer
Lisey's Story - Stephen King (audio)
Microthrils - Wendy Spero (audio)

Peace.

And for my final trick...

It's that time of year! That's right, time for the end of the year 30list wrap up and analysis extravaganza! My birthday is in one month, so I have about 4 weeks to try and wrap up the list and achieve the goals I have set forth. I'm gonna tell you right now *and this is a spoiler* some of them just ain't gonna happen. Some of them I have completed far over the goal, but since I'm lazy I just quit counting once I got to 100. If you remember, this is not what I had originally planned to do since those over-shot goals can help pick up the slack of my little tiny achievements via the magic of averages. But it's my list, and I can change the rules if I want to.

Anyhow, here's the plan - I'm gonna break it down, starting with completed goals first. Some of them I'm not gonna have a lot to say about because, well, they aren't that interesting. They are what they are. So, here goes. Oh, I'm not going to do them all right now in case you were worried. I'll do a couple at a time. *Ahem*

1. 30 Blog Entries - Shizza - look at all the blog entries! 41 Total so far. Rad. That one was kind of a ringer. I knew it when I added it. It's good to have ringers sometimes.

2. 30 Mins. Less watching TV. Ok, this one was easy since we disconnected our dish this spring after BSG was over. I don't really miss it. As you can see, I have lots of other stuff going on; movie watching, book reading, novel writing, etc. Disconnecting the TV helped achieve another goal as well - reduce household expenses, which we will get to later. I have no idea the actual figure of how much less TV I ended up watching, but it's significant. Because it went from at least an hour a day to 0. Do I think we will ever hook it back up? Doubt it. TV shows on DVD are wayyyy better. You just have to be a bit more patient.

3. 30 Mins. Per Day Cleaning. Sadly, I completed this one fairly quickly as well. I spend at least 30 minutes a day cleaning, and when I'm really going nuts a couple hours at a time easy. In case you are wondering 30 mins a day of cleaning = 10950 minutes OR 182.5 hours. That's a lot of fracking cleaning. But that's ok, cause my house is clean and that's a good thing.

That's it for today. As you can see I still have some stuff to do. I really want to finish 30 books - which means 5 to go by Jan. 6. I also want to complete my knitted things goal - which is even crazier because it's like 15 things in that amount of time. I am restarting the great debate - if I knit a pair of things aka socks - is that one knitted thing or two? Mike says one. But he's not the one knitting his fingers to the nubs.

Peace out.

Sharing

On Thanksgiving my brother and sister in-law informed me that items I share with comments via the Google reader are public. To which I immediately responded "Oh Crap!" but then about a second later was more like "Eh, fuck it." Since then I have been thinking a lot about my initial reaction and the following one. And have decided to break it down for you.


The reason for caring at all about comments, writing, etc. posted on-line being viewable by the public are :

1. You are a private person and don't want to share your views with the world.
2. You are worried about what people will think.
3. You are concerned that your views will be on the Internet forever and ever (and they probably will) and that your kids/grand-kids/great-grandkids will read them.
4. You will get fired and/or not get a job because of stuff you have written.


While I am not disputing the validity of any of these concerns, I realize that they do not pertain to me whatsoever. I have chosen to be a writer and in doing so have learned through years of agony, that I have no hope of ever being successful at it if I chose to care at all who reads what I write, and subsequently what their opinion of it or me is after having read it.

Writing takes great courage. One of the reasons that I was able to complete a novel this past month (and yes, I am going to bring that up for a long time. Get over it)was that I finally embraced the genre and style that I enjoy reading and writing. If I ever edit it down enough so that others can read it and perhaps even get it published, I have to accept that some people, probably even people I know aren't going to like it. They may even hate it. But really, who cares? I probably don't like those ugly pants they have in their closet. Should they care? Nope.

So for me, the fact that my daughter may read a comment that says "George Bush is a total douchebag" regarding an article I shared, really doesn't bother me. If she asked me about it I would probably respond by saying "Yes, it's true, back in the day he fucked things up a lot and he is probably still a douchebag." I am what I am. I say what I think and I really don't care who else reads it.

Bow Down.

See this:


That means I wrote a goddamned novel in 30 days. I'm going to go freak out now.

Crazy? Perhaps.

Mornin' Y'all.

Just wanted to let you guys know that I'm crazy and signed up for the "National Novel Writing Month" contest, in which I will attempt to write a 50k word novel this month. The cool thing - the serendipitous thing if you will, is that I started working on a new novel Nov.1 of my own accord. I'm about 6500 words in. In order to finish on time I will need to write about 1800 words per day, which is totes doable. Anyhow, thought I would put it out here to the world. I would appreciate nagging. Thank you.

Tea-saster.

Here I am again another two weeks with no posts, but I have had a major disaster. About a week ago I spilled an entire mug of tea on my laptop and killed it. Tea and laptops do not mix. After trying to dry it out unsuccessfully for a couple days, Mike opened it up and noticed that 1. it was still full of tea and 2. some giant chip thing was fried and melted. BOOO HIISSS. Now I am checking my e-mail and whatnot on Mike's gonk, This is doing nothing good for quelling my apple envy. I do so love this little MacBook. I'm hoping to either win one, or have a visit from the mac fairy, since a new one is not in the budget right now.

In other spilling news, the day after I killed my Dell, I spilled an entire mug of coffee (with cream in it) on myself and my couch. The couch which used to only smell like old dog and fire (long story) now also smells like coffee, and I'm sure rotten milk and mold soon. I have decided that I must now begin drinking all liquids from sippy cups since I am clearly a danger to myself and others.

I have started back on my fitness goals since I have now officially regained all of the weight I lost this summer, which as you can imagine makes me feel super awesome - however I totally outsmarted myself this time and gave away all my fat pants as I lost weight this summer, so now I don't have any pants to wear and have effectively forced myself back on the wagon. Take that laziness!

One note about losing my laptop, I have been writing like a mo-fo - IN a notebook you know, the paper kind as opposed to ON a notebook, the machine kind. it's very ye olde fashioned of me. It's tres excellent. I have decided that my computer was my greatest tool and my greatest time suck. Oh also, somehow I seem to be behind on reading 30 books, I have no idea how this happened but am now doing double duty with books on the ipod and regular style books so that I can reach my goal by January. Booya.

Politics small scale.

Good Morning Y'all. I know I still haven't updated my book/movie list, but I plan on getting right on this AM, for reals! I have started a new project but for some reason blogger thinks it's a spam blog and won't let me post anything on it until a human reviews it. Not fair.

In other news, I have had a few blog/articles published on www.newenglandmamma.com with more to come.

Things that I have been meaning to do are moving along nicely and includes becoming more involved with town politics! Recently I attended the first of three public forums hosted by the Comprehensive Planning committee of my town. It really opened my eyes to how annoying and complicated any sort of politics, planning, etc. can be. Without saying where I live, you should know that my town has about 1200 people. Also, 60% of the population is >60. See where I'm going here? I was the youngest person in the room by about 10 years - and hopefully you know how old I am, cause um, you know, the blog and all. The elders of my town don't really care about stuff like "the school" and "bringing new people and jobs to our town". Although everyone did agree that we need high-speed internet.

Yes folks I don't have broadband. I mean I guess I technically do because we pay out the ying yang for a Hughes Net Dish, which allegedly supplies our high-speed needs. No No it does not. If we watch ONE movie from netflix (not that we really could because it's too slow) they shut us off for 24 hours for overuse. I have to go to my moms to download my podcasts - of which I only get audio. Anyhow I could go on and on about this, but I won't bore you. Just know this - it blows.

Hopefully I will locate my digital camera and post some pics of some recently completed knitting projects as well - 2 hats, 1 pair of legwarmers. Suhweet. I really need to reassess and see how much I need to get done before 31, which is in January. Cya.

Long time no see.

Holla and woot! So, I haven't blogged in few months. Sorry! I've been super busy, as summers always go in Maine. I call it the Mainer summer fever, where we try to pack in as much stuff as possible before the impending 6 months of winter. I'm not going to bore y'all with the minutiae of all the movies/books I've been consuming - aka reviews - but as soon as I can remember them all will post them with a woot or a poot in my little list thinger over there ->.

Here are the major points of the summer: I lost some weight and put it back on, been working on a farm 1.5 days per week, got a job doing a bunch of internet research/writing for 6 weeks, became addicted to DVD's of Veronica Mars, lost and regained my writing as well as knitting mojo, signed up for a zillion killer new podcasts, have become extraordinarily horrified at the presidential election.

I plan to add a list of my podcasts on the side as well, just so you can see what I'm up to. Also I have finally started using Google Reader, so if you want to see articles I recommend, go check it out. If you have gmail the reader link is up near the top, if I am in your address book it should automatically show you what I have shared. Learn how to use it and share stuff with me too darnit!

For the fall my goals are rededicate myself to writing, perhaps finish a novel I have been working on and start revising it, re-lose the weight I lost and gained back, and get something published in a mag. Also, I know my birthday is a few months away, but I think I will continue on with the list, just start at 0 again in January. Think I should up everything by 1 each year?

Sorry for the delay and the short post, things are calming down so hopefully I can pay more attention to this :)

Over Half Way!

I've watched quite a few movies since I wrote last, and will try to keep my reviews brief, as I haven't written in a while and have lots to update.

First off with the movies: I watched Sex and the City, I am Legend, and Juno - in that order.

I was/am a huge STC fan from back in the day when it was still on and I had HBO. I loved that show, and loved the movie. My sister in-law and I went and watched it at the local movie theater, which wasn't that bad because it wasn't very busy. The thing with the Lincoln Theater is that it doesn't have graduated seating, so if someone tall sits in front of you, you're out of luck. Anyhow, the movie perfectly gave a nod to all the things that made the show famous - even the little things like Cosmopolitans. I can't say too much more about it without having to explain 10 years of plot from the show, so I will just say, it was great - I give it a Double Woot! But if you never watched the show, don't bother.

I am Legend was also excellent. I am told by friends that the book is much better, so I will probably give it a look. Basically it's Will Smith and his dog in a post bio-disaster NYC. The Fresh Prince was totally dope in this role, which must not have been easy since he was alone for 90% of the film. I'm a huge fan of the bio-disaster movie - like the Stand, which is in my opinion the best bio-disaster book/movie ever made. These types of movies scare the bejesus out of me because it seems so plausible, probably the way that nuke movies were so popular in the 70's. This one had an interesting twist in that the crazy virus made people turn into vampires, as opposed to the ever popular zombie thread. The super creepy vampire dogs were a nice touch as well. Double Woot!

On to Juno. I had put off seeing this movie just because from the clips I had seen on tv with all the cool banter, I thought it was going to be super annoying. That said, I loved this movie. I think it gave a pretty realistic portrayal of teen pregnancy. The girl gets pregnant, doesn't really know what to do and is totally freaked out but not in a lame after school special way. She decides to give the baby up for adoption - which I can't even imagine doing. The adoptive parents were Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman - I would like to say, although this is totally unrelated - Jennifer Garner needs to 1. Lay off the Botox and 2. Eat a sandwich! She looked like a wax skeleton. The dialog in this movie was brills. In fact, I would like to see Diablo Cody and Quentin Tarantino have a dialog off, or at least work on a project together. It just goes to show, yet again that yes the American public DOES like interesting, smart, well written movies, not just things going boom. As you may have guessed - Juno - Double Woot!

On to books. After giving up on a book half way through, which I never ever do (It was ghost by Alan Lightman - Double Poopsandwich with a side of boogers. Even though the Times liked, it they are often a bunch of pompous blowhards who also like movies like Lost in Translation which was one of the worst movies ever made.) I read A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. Does this book sound familiar? Remember the book that Oprah picked for her book club about a guy that goes to rehab and it's horrifying and allegedly all true, then she found out it was a load of crap and called him out on her show? No? Read this. Anyway this is that book. Here's the thing. It was a great book, and I highly recommend it. I'm only giving it a single woot though. Why you ask? Because I cannot see how ANYONE could have not known that this book was fiction. First of all, the guy just happens to end up in rehab with a mafia dude AND a federal judge, all who become BFF's because "addicts are all equal" and he just HAPPENS to hook up with a former 13 year old crack whore, who he falls deeply in love with - so much so that he risks his life for her - in 6 weeks? PFFFTTTT. I mean really. OH, and conveniently all the major characters except him are now either dead or missing (says the list at the back of the book) so his story couldn't be corroborated. Even saying all that, it was still a well written good read, and still would have been well received as a work of fiction. Or one of those "based on true events" books, the guy was in rehab, I'm sure parts of it are true, and it's an excellent book about addiction, and the insistence by many that 12 steps are the only way to sobriety, and the willingness of the vast majority of the population to take absolutely no responsibility for their actions whatsoever. So, go ahead and read it, you will like it, don't let the change in classification stop you.

Onward and upward. The title of this blog refers to the half way mark on two fronts: 1. As of July 6, I have been working the list for 6 months and 2. The average of all my accomplishments is at 44% - which is pretty darn close to half. I am absolutely astounded that I have kept with it, and accomplished so many of my goals in 6 months. Though my knitting has come to a screeching halt this summer, which often happens. I have picked up some great new habits, like a new diet plan AND doing yoga a few times per week. I'm super excited to have found two wonderful websites which offer both for free. My averages are probably going to jump even further soon since I have a bunch of words to add to my list.

On a side note, I have decided to tackle one of my big "fear/desires" which is to eat a meal, or even have a cup of coffee in a restaurant - BY MYSELF. Something I have never done in my entire life. I know right? This is definately a skill one should have, especially if one would like to be self sufficient in the least.

And finally, you may be interested to learn, that this blog has been read by people in 9 different countries! How weird is that?

Very Productive

I had a very productive weekend, and by productive I mean I got a lot of reading and movie watching done. This no TV thing really gets me motivated to do other stuff, you know like watch movies. Actually, if you will indulge me for just a moment - and you kind of have to because this is my blog - I got to thinking yesterday about entertainment, as in holy god, how much entertainment do we need? Even without the TV we still have netflix, and the internet, an xbox 360, and a bunch of audiobooks, podcasts, and music on our ipods and that's just electronics. We also have lots of books and magazines, so many that I often feel like I'm getting behind, as if reading things for pleasure is my job and I'm missing deadlines or something. I think that the big difference with TV vs. these other types of entertainment is that I actually have to make a choice in the evening. Hmm which movie will I watch, or book will I read, and with TV the choices were basically being made for me. Last month when it got down to it and we realized we were only looking forward to watching 2 programs (Lost and Battlestar Gallactica) and everything else was just filler we decided to turn disconnect it after the season finale of BSG. So in essence, all the time during the week when I, not really so much Mike, was watching and neither of those shows were on, it was just filler, crappy noise pumped in to fill the time because I was too lazy to chose something else for myself. Anyway, it made me feel really gross, so in beginning week 2 of no TV I'm feeling pretty happy about the choice.

On to my weekend productivity. Friday night I watched Prairie Home Companion. I love Garrison Kellor and the NPR Radio Show by the same name, which the movie basically mimics. Really this movie is just a little love letter to the show, which has been on the radio for many many years and was very well done. Lindsay Lohan is in this movie, along with Merryl Streep and I was shocked to learn that both of them can really sing quite beautifully. Lilly Tomlin, who was also in the movie made a good effort but sadly cannot. If you do not like the radio show, you are not going to like this movie. It's like people who don't like fish being surprised that they don't like sushi, just because it's in a different form doesn't mean it's going to be more palatable for you. I give this movie a woot! it misses a double woot because it's kind of cheesy.

Last night I watched The Darjeeling Limited, which if you don't know is a Wes Anderson film. Who is Wes Anderson? What? Are you kidding? Only one of the best writer/directors ever - Rushmore, Royal Tennenbaums, Steve Zisou - sound familiar? Of course Owen Wilson is in this movie, as is Angelica Houston, Bill Murray, and Jason Schwartzman (who was involved with the writing) all familiar actors that Anderson works with often. I really like it when directors use the same actors in their films over and over. It really makes sense to me as in there must be a huge level of bullshit that doesn't need to be worked through when new actors are brought in for each project. Wes Anderson movies are beautifully melancholy. This movie took place in India and was so stunning, and the shots so beautiful it was like watching a moving painting. Many people don't like Anderson movies because they seem slow moving, or too symbolic but I have loved each of them,the combination of music, dialog and cinematography keeps me on the verge of tears throughout the entire film because of the beauty and sadness. The plot is this - 3 brothers, Owen Wilson, Jason Shwartzman, and Adrian Brody are on a train traveling through India to visit various spiritual sites and visit their mother. This is the first time in a year the brothers have been together since the death of their father a year previously. The relationship between the siblings is perfectly represented. The movie is an examination of that relationship - adult siblings and their relations with one another. How quickly they revert to childhood roles, and simultaneously embrace yet resent them. Ok, enough said, Double Woot.

I pounded through a book this weekend as well. The Devil and Miss. Prym by Paulo Coelho was so good I read it in about a day. A man comes to a small town and tells the townspeople if they murder one of the residents, he will give them 10 gold bars. He does this because he figures it's an easy way to find out if people are basically good or evil. It was a bit slow at first, but after about 20 pages I couldn't put it down. I have read a lot of Coehlo's stuff, I loved the Pilgrimage, the Alchemist etc. lately his books have been pretty Christiany which I don't like at all, and though this did have a lot of references to the Bible etc. it wasn't too overwhelming and I was still able to enjoy it. Double Woot!

Finally just an exercise note - not a big deal for you active people but I ran a half mile today without stopping. This is a huge huge deal for me. As I was running I thought about the Presidential Fitness Test I had to take in Jr. High, and how after I ran a mile for that I barfed in the girl's locker room. Anyhow, I got to thinking that I should look up those goals and see if I can be as fit as what the gov. says a 17 year old girl should be :) Although, just now I saw that they have a lifestyle thing for adults, maybe I will sign up. Only if I can get a gold plated plastic medal with JFK's face on it though...Ok that's it I'm out. Thank you for reading.

PS - do you like the links?

Update

Just returned from Dr. toe is indeed busted. And, not much I can do for it except tape it up. I am extremely superstitious in that I think things most often happen in 3's bad things that is, so we now have 2 visits to the Dr. for me in two days.....

Broken

So yesterday will not go down as one of my finest. It started off with Maggie sleeping in, and by sleeping in I mean 7:45. Usually she is awake around 6, which is why when I made an appointment to get a Tetanus shot at 8:30 in the morning, I assumed it would be no problem getting there on time. I hear you all out there, a Tetanus shot? What did you do, step on a nail or something? No. I was building this:



Not the doghouse part, just the wire part. Chicken wire is really sharp, and I being super smart was not wearing gloves and sliced the crap out of my hands more than once. While I was bleeding and stapling I thought, Hmmm I wonder when the last time I had a tetanus shot was? I called my doctor's office who informed me, not since high-school. They also informed me that I should come in and get one within the next 48 hours so I don't get lockjaw. I'm not really sure what lockjaw is, but it sounds painful and like it would seriously inhibit my ability to talk.

I'm not afraid of shots, I'm tough. Maggie was super excited to come with me to see Mama get a shot, which I thought would be good. Anyhow, she woke up late, so I woke up late and just had time to take a shower, get both of us dressed and run out the door. It is important to note that I did NOT consume either any food, or more importantly coffee before I left. Shot was uneventful. Though I will note, they also updated my Pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine, there has been a huge resurgence of the disease because people (in Maine especially) haven't been vaccinating their kids and so these diseases which aren't usually around are back, intermingling with us vaccinated people and making super bugs, so now they are re-vaccinating adults. Thanks Hippies!

After the appointment I really really needed coffee. I need coffee like a crack whore needs crack. In fact, the previous evening I was discussing coffee with my grandmother, who is, to be blunt, on her death bed. She is not allowed to have coffee for a number of reasons most of which would contribute to her dying much more quickly than she is. Anyhow I told her that I pretty much don't even want people to speak to me before I have coffee in the morning, which is not an exaggeration. I really don't. The one place in Wiscasset that is on the way back to my house which might have served coffee, and I made the mistake of telling Maggie also has huge cookies, doesn't open until 10. WTF! 10? They are missing out on a lot of angry people that need coffee and huge cookies. Maggie was promised a huge cookie because she has successfully filled in an entire row on her potty chart. I am some how adding this onto the 30 list, even though technically it's her accomplishment, it's a big fracking deal around here. No more diapers.

No coffee, no cookie, now add screaming kid because no cookie. Get home attempt to make coffee. Once about every six months or so, the coffee pot freaks out - I don't think it's human error since I make coffee successfully every other day so I attribute it to an act of god, or kitchen elves - and the coffee just spews everywhere but the pot. Grounds and water run everywhere. As you can guess that is what happened yesterday morning. So, I did this:



What is that you ask? Oh that's my cabinet door sans panel, because I kicked it and busted it out. Wow! I'm strong! No, not really I kicked it pretty lightly, ok moderately with the toe of my ugly dress shoes. Clearly my cabinets are not made of very strong stuff. Am I embarrassed I had a temper tantrum and kicked out the panel of my cabinet door? Yes indeed I am. I should be made of stronger stuff. Lack of coffee and a shot first thing in the morning should not send me off the rails, but it did, so there you have it.

Ok, but that's not all. In a cruel ironic twist - later on in the afternoon I was running across my living room barefoot. I don't recall why. However, I smashed my pinkie toe on our hearth which is made of huge rocks. I am quite sure it's broken. I'm quite sure there isn't much that can be done for a broken pinkie toe. I am quite sure this is going to put a major crimp in my jogging since it hurts so bad I can barely walk. It should be noted, my arm hurts like a bastard where I got the shot yesterday I can't even lift it over my head.

On to the actually 30list update: I knit this bag:




It just needs to have the button sewn on and it will be 100% done.

We disconnected Directv which contributes to a few categories: less tv watching, more movie watching, something I've been meaning to do, and reducing household expenses. Don't worry, we still have netflix - we aren't neanderthals for god sakes. But honestly, we were paying like $70 per month to watch Lost and Battle Star, and now since they are both over until January - goodbye TV!

I finished a fantastic book: Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, by Tom Robbins. For some reason it took me a long time to get into reading Tom Robbins, a lot of my friends read his stuff in high school, but I'm glad I'm discovering it now, I think it makes a lot more sense to me than if I was 18. Anyhow, what can be said about this book without giving too much away. It's about this guy named Switters who is an ex-CIA agent confined to a wheelchair and goes on some crazy adventures around the world. Um, I can't really say too much more than that. It's really hard to sum up a Robbins novel. Seriously, please check it, or anything else he's written, you will like it. Double Woot!

We watched Part 1 of Grind House - Planet Terror, the other night and I absolutely loved it. Grind House was that Double Feature homage to B-movies that Tarrantino and Rodriguez did a few years ago. Planet Terror is a super cheesy zombie movie. A lot of people didn't like these movies because of their cheese, but hello, it's mimicking these particular movies. It was hilarious, super gross but so over the top gross it was grosser than gross and so not that gross, if that makes any sense at all. If you like zombies and super cheese, you will love this movie. Double Woot.

Ok, that's enough for now. Practically a novel.

Part Deux finally

Oops, my posting that was going to be tomorrow has now been like 3 weeks. First off, you may have noticed I finally updated the bars on the side. I had a major 30 list crisis that should be fixed now. You see, all my progress is tracked via an excel spreadsheet, and me being me completely fracked up the formulas so my list was all messed up. Some of the things are still a little dicey, things that I can't tangibly account for. It's easy to go back and list all the books or movies I've watched over the past six months, not so easy to remember how much water I've been drinking. Anyhow, the progress bars should be pretty damn close to accurate.

Big jump on books and movies. Recently I went with Mike and some friends to see Blade Runner at the Strand Theater in Rockland. You may remember that I went to the Strand a few months ago to see This American Life, It's my new favorite theater, it's all retro and it has a bar. Yes, I've seen Blade Runner and in fact we own it, however I'm counting it because this was on the big screen and it was awesome. If you have the opportunity to see it in the theater, do it. Blade Runner of course - Double Woot!

I watched the movie version of Running With Scissors which I'm going to give a Meh. Probably it should get a poop sandwich, but I'm feeling generous. It's about this kid his mom is crazy, she gives him to her crazy psychiatrist sort of. I'm pretty sour on this book/movie since I read this huge article in Vanity Fair about how the main characters in the book (allegedly a memoir) are suing the bejesus out of the author for slander and fabrication.

Last night we watched Pirates of the Caribbean 3, which I think is called Dead Man's chest. It was really good, if a bit too long, and didn't suck nearly as much as everyone told me it did. It's you know, about pirates and whatnot. Lots of swashbuckling and things of that nature. It's the third of a series so I'm not really going to get into it all that much. Though there was a cameo by Keith Richards which was brills. It rates a woot.

Ok enough Movies, on to books. I listened to Freakonomics on my ipod. It was really enjoyable and I recommend it, lots of statistics and things like that. It's kind of hard to explain I give it a woot, even though I thought the author was kind of pretentious and some of the theories were a bit of stretch.

I finished Franny and Zooey, by J.D. Salinger. This is a book I read in high school and remembered that I really liked, but had totally forgotten what it was about. Oh Salinger, why did you disappear? You were so good. Still so good. This gets a Double Woot. It's a story about a family in NY in the fifties. But more than a story it is, as the introduction says, sort of a written home movie that is but a snapshot of events that transpire over a day or so. I highly recommend it. I read it in a day. Salinger, of course Double Woot!

So, I promised in my last post to tell y'all about my new exercise regime. Don't laugh. I have started jogging. Today I finally got to .6 total. yes, that's .6 - a bit over a half mile. But that was not all at once. I think by next week maybe I can get to .5 at once. this does not seem like a lot right? Well I am jog/walking 1.5 total each time so it's not like I'm doing a little tiny sprint up the road and coming back. So there's that. Plus on days I don't jog, I walk 3 miles. SO there. But here's what's important to note, in your judging of my physical fitness 1. I have been smoking for 15 years. Gross right? Especially since I am only 30. That's for half my life. I took 2 years off when I was preg and nursing but have since started again. Though I do smoke only one cig a day, and sometimes none at all, I think that it should be noted. 2. I have never been a sports person at all. In Jr. High and High-school my sport was cheer leading. This was the early 90's, there wasn't all this gymnastics business with cheering. Mostly it was synchronized clapping and yelling with some sweet jumps - which it will be noted if I have enough to drink I may attempt for your viewing pleasure. It is almost surely to end badly.

So enjoy the updates, thanks for reading.

Long overdue update - part 1?

Sorry for the long delay! This is a long overdue update (duh you can read the title right?) that I'm probably going to have to break into two parts. First off - I have some photos for y'all finally. The first two concern two goals I have achieved in the "things I have been meaning to do" cat. Coincidentally I feel that one, nay perhaps both of these may now qualify me as a redneck. Please discuss amongst yourselves - which makes me more "red"? Would it be my new ghettofabulous clothesline?



or perhaps the box of chickens in my living room:



Either way, I think that both are nudging me a bit closer to owning a shotgun.

Sorry for the wonky alignment, blogger and I are not really getting along so well today. Moving right along, I have completed two more knitting projects - some slippers for my mom:



I also finished a little purse thing for myself but I haven't taken a pic. of it yet. What else is new you ask? Well it should be noted that this is blog post 30 - so 100% for that goal!

I finished another book - Black Olives - I forget the author, I give it a meh. It's about this older woman who's boyfriend breaks up with her and then like 9 months later she sees him at the store and climbs into the back of his jeep and hides while he drives around. It was pretty lame, but didn't totally suck. The ending was super weak though, and I despise a weak ending. Why bother putting in all that work if you are just going to puss out at the end? Lame. So Black Olives - Meh!

This week I watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2 - Black Pearl - which I give a Woot! Yes it was about 45 minutes too long, and the ending was a cliff hanger and yes it was Disney, but it was entertaining, has a good story, and my boy Johnny of course. Hey this is my blog and if I can automatically give good ratings to movies just because they contain Johnny Depp or John Cusack, I'm going to. That goes for books by Stephen King too. Deal with it! So Pirates 2 gets a woot!

Last night we watched Lady in the Water, which was written and directed by M.Night Shamalamadingdong. I'm going to give this a reluctant Woot! It really straddles the line between Woot! and Meh! It was a pretty good family movie, if I was about oh say 13 I would probably be freaking out about how cool it was. M.Night wrote himself into the movie and acts in it which I give a resounding BOO HISSSS! THUMBS DOWN! Don't do that again Mr. Shamalama - please. Good Directors do not make good actors. Well, unless you are Clint Eastood but that's neither here nor there.

Now for a new weird portion of my blog, which I guess also falls into the things I've been meaning to do cat. I'm going to keep track of weird trends/coincidences that I feel are not coincidental. For example, lately I have been intrigued with the idea of the suns rays having antibacterial properties (radiation? anyone? anyone?) because of the clothesline. Since I first heard that, I have heard it a few more times, about not only the sun being antibacterial but the idea of gross things dying in the light.

Ok, so today I was at the library and went upstairs to see what they had for Tom Robbins books (Still Life With Woodpecker, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, etc.) as I was making my way over to Robbins, some books by Salinger, J.D. caught my eye, and I grabbed a copy of Franny and Zooey which I loved in high-school but haven't read since and have recently heard mentioned a bunch of times in the media. I had 2 Robbins books to chose from: "Skinny Legs and All" or "Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates". I chose the later because on the inside of the jacket where it describes the book it says the following: "Moreover, the internationally acclaimed, best-selling author, with his love of language, nuance, and surprise, is as opposed to story summations as J.D. Salinger." - which I thought was kind of weird since I had just randomly picked up a Salinger book - then here's where it got even weirder - "Robbins also has said that throughout the writing of Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates he was guided by the advice of Julia Child "Learn to handle hot things. Keep your knives sharp. Above all, have a good time." Now, most of you know, (if you know me) that I freaking love Julia. I even have an autographed pic. of Julia. I just feel that the combo of these two statements on the jacket of this book to be very odd in a specifically pertinent to my life kind of way. It is these kind of little blips and coincidences that I'm going to try and use to make future choices, or at the very least recognize their existence.

This blog is far too long, and I will be adding a part 2, hopefully tomorrow. With more pics. AND news of my new exercise regime. Oh, also check out the Klog, I have been sporadically been updating that as well. Ciao!

My Career

Thinking of titles for things is hard. It's one of the most difficult parts of writing, for me anyway. I get stuck on titles for inordinate amounts of time. Anyhow, the title of this blog isn't very good. It is not witty and does not have any puns. I apologize, thank you for reading it even though I paid little if no effort luring you in.

Still progressing on the list. About 23% completion average over all. Some, like blogging are at nearly 100%, in fact I think this is entry #29. Don't worry, I won't quit after 30. The writing portion of the list has really seen a jump thanks to my new reporting job, yes I am counting my articles as submissions and my time writing them as writing time. In one short month I am up to 16. Boo Yaa! Lagging behind as you can see - weight loss, water consumption, and exercise, which clearly all go together, oh and as a result of my new job - reduction in driving has fallen by the wayside since I am cruising around to meetings all the time. I've read some great books and seen some kick ass movies - I'll get to those in a sec. and am feeling pretty rocktastic over all.

Good News! For those of you who remember the great XCS debacle of last winter, I was at a yard sale on Saturday and bought a fat pair of Rossignol ski's with poles for.....$10!!! Score! Now I wish it would snow just one last time so I can use them. I will just have to wash them and gaze at them lovingly until next winter.

In cooking news, I have been trying some new recipes, and am excited to try a new ingredient that I am mildly obsessed with. What is it you ask? Lard. That's right. Rendered pig fat. A friend gave me a jar of homemade lard the other night, and since then I have been reading all about lard. It's the wonder fat! For example, did you know that it has less fat and calories than butter? AND doesn't have any trans fats but twice the amount of monostaurated (good fat) than butter? Why is everyone afraid of lard? Because all the stuff you get in the store is hydrogenated in order to make it shelf stable. Otherwise you have to keep it in the fridge or freezer. I could go on and on about lard, but I'll stop now. Though I will say, the lard trials of '08 are probably not going to help my weight loss goals any.

I read Last Night at the Lobster (because Stephen King had a blurb on the back saying it rocked) and of course it did. It's a short book about the manager of a Red Lobster in Mass. on the last night that it's open. Sounds boring right? It's not though, I recommend it. Double Woot!

Been watching a lot of documentaries lately. The Shakers by Ken Burns was absolutely fantastic. If it wasn't for the whole celibacy thing, I would totally be a shaker. They should just ditch the celibacy thing and watch their population soar! I think their philosophies are fantastic and very relevant even for today. Shakers by Ken Burns Double Woot!

I went and saw This American Life Live, at the Strand Theater in Rockland. Before the movie we ate sushi at Suzuki in Rockland. Best. Sushi. Ever. I ate raw Maine shrimp. Who knew? I had been cooking them all this time, when I could have been just throwing them in rice raw and eating them. This place is the real deal. Please go there and eat you will thank me. We saw the movie at the Strand, which I have never been to, actually if you must know, I don't go to Rockland much because I'm scared of Rockland and think it's kind of gross. However the Main St. is so pretty and dare I say, hip, you forget that one street over it's totally skank. I'm sorry Rockland, I should have given you a chance. The Strand also rocks. It's an old theater totally restored, and has a very old timey feel. They feature really cool movies, the marquee stated that they would be showing Blade Runner next. Sweet! Oh, and here's the best part, there is a bar in the theater. People were drinking beer and watching the movie. Wow. Genius I tell you. Ok so, on to TAL, it was amazing. Totally weird to see all the people that I listen to on the radio all the time. Do you not know what TAL is? It's a radio show click here. It featured scenes from their new show as well which I have added to my queue. Double Woot! I'm feeling generous with my woots these days.

Hmm, what else? Oh knitting. I was knocked out of the 3rd round of the Yarn Smack Down! fairly easily since I totally slacked and didn't start the hat until the day after I got the pattern. I made a sweet pair of leg warmers for a very deserving toddler, and am currently knitting some slippers for my mom. I think that's it for now. More updates soon.

Be well bitches!

Did you miss me?

It's been awhile yes? I've been doing lots of things, very busy, working on the list, living life and whatnot. Very quickly, things are going quite well. I am now in week three of my life as an ace reporter, and let me tell you it's not as easy as one may think. I cover really boring meetings and then need to turn them into relatively interesting articles. But I'm not complaining, it's fun and I'm amassing an elite folder of clips which I can than use to propel my career into the stratosphere. Also, I have written about five articles so far which I am totally counting as submissions and am writing like a fiend. My mood about life has improved greatly and I am not sure if it's due to the increase in writing or the massive amounts of sun we have been graced with over the past few days. Either way, woot for me.

I finished Blood and Smoke by SK and it was rad of course. I also read Running With Scissors which I highly recommend. It's an autobiography of a guy who sort of gets adopted my his moms shrink. The thing is that the shrink and his family are totally nuts and though the situation is actually quite horrific, the author Augsten Burroughs, writes in a really engaging and humorous way so as not to totally bum you out. I have heard that the movie is really good too. It gets a double woot!

Speaking of movies I watched Lucky Number Slevin the other night and was ready to be disappointed but was pleasantly surprised. This is a a typical crime with a twist ala Snatch, type movie but the difference was it had some of the best dialog in a movie I have ever heard. It was very witty and humorous. Single Woot!

I completed round two of the yarn smack down and will be moving on to round three on Saturday. Although I really like doing competitive knitting, the last round I went to bed only when my left hand looked a lot like one of those petrified chicken feet you buy at the vodoo store, and I couldn't straighten it out. Luckily after a good night sleep I was able to wake up early finish my hat and send it off to kill my opponent.

Today I went outside and raked like a mad woman and didn't really make as big of a dent in the leaves out front as I would have liked. Granted I haven't raked out there in about three years, and now inspired by the Botanical Gardens have decided that I really like the look of "clean woods". I'm debating vacuuming up leaves with my shop vac. Then I will be the lady that vacuums the woods. Am I ready to take that step in neurosis? Perhaps.

Wow you are saying. Things are going well for Ms K. Is anything going wrong for you? Well thanks for asking! I am completely paranoid that after all of the day's raking I am covered in Lyme disease infested ticks even though I took a shower. I feel all creepy. It's gross. Think about having lice. See how you are all skeeved out and itchy now? Yeah, like that. Also, I have a zit inside my ear. That's probably too much information for y'all but it really hurts. So other than hallucinating bugs all over me and having acne in my ear, life is good. I hope all is well out there.

Victory is Mine!

Lots of great news to report so let's just dive right in shall we? First off, I got a job this morning with the Wiscasset Newspaper as a part-time reporter writing about such fascinating things as town meetings, school news, and transposing the police blotter! Although the pay is an astounding 7.50 per hour. Which I THINK is minimum wage, I will need to drag my reporter ass onto the website of some sort of state agency, I am so happy to have this job. This is the job that you have to learn how to be a reporter and write interesting things so that you can move on to bigger and better things. Also, I can totally do most of it from home or in the evenings with little disturbance to my schedule of watching Maggie! Yahoo!

Moving on to next sweet thing, I totally won the first round of Yarn Smackdown! Woot! It really came right down to the wire, my opponent and I were both mailing our hats literally within minutes of each other, she in Tennessee and me in Maine. Surprisingly the Maine USPS was faster! Actually, I might have won because our dinky little PO closes at noon on Saturdays so afternoon deliveries have to wait until Monday. As you can see, I sent her a pretty sweet hat! Actually you probably can't tell the sweetness just from the pic. but it has 6 inches of k2 p2 ribbing, which believe me is a pain to do simply because it's boring and 6 inches is a lot longer than you think. Er, that sounds kind of dirty. It also has cables and a sweet pattern on the top achieved by decreasing a certain way. I wish I had taken a better picture of it now. Oh well. Cest La Vie. So now I just wait to see who the other winners are, and the pattern will be released for round 2. Just so you know, I got the pattern for this hat at 5pm on Weds. and it was in the mail at 4pm on Thursday. That is ridiculously fast knitting.

I watched two movies this past week, and was surprised by both. I saw Notes on a Scandal which was totally creepy, and not in a good scary way but in a Judy Dench trying to seduce Cate Blanchette sort of way, to which I respond to by gagging and giving it a big old poop sandwich. From other reviews I thought I would really like this movie but no, no I did not. The second movie I watched was Match Point, a Woody Allen film starring Scarlett Johansen and a bunch of British people. This movie was fantastic, not Woody Allenish at all. You know how some Woody Allen movies are so obviously his that it just seems like all the parts are played by Woody Allen wearing costumes that look like other people? This was not like that at all and I give it a Woot!

I finished Dark Tort, a really light murder mystery by Diane Mott Davidson, which is part of a series of books which outline the adventures of a mystery solving caterer. They are about as heavy as Nancy Drew, so it was a nice touch after Kavalier and Clay. I also listened to an audio book by Stephen King, "The Man in the Black Suit" was pretty light for SK, a collection of kind of old timey stories. I just started another collection by him "Blood and Smoke" which is not light and quite gory. SK the man himself reads both of these collections and for some reason I find it to be a zillion times scarier. Probably because he reads it exactly the way he intended it to sound. I am "regular" as in not audio, reading Running With Scissors which is also really good and I can already tell will probably get a good review from me. Oh yeah, the ratings - Dark Tort gets a woot, and SK gets a Double Woot.

And last but not least, our bird feeder has been going crazy and I identified a bunch of new birds out here - Mourning Doves, Some sort of WoodPecker, I think a Cedar Waxwing and day before yesterday Mike and I saw 3 huge Turkey Vultures fly over so I'm counting them too. That's long enough for one post. Cya.

I'm just a big liar.

I was just re-reading my last post and have come to the conclusion that I'm just a big liar. I did not update my bars as promised, or finish hats for my brothers in-law, or post a pic of my dress, AND here it is 5 days after I said I would be writing twice per week, and this is my first entry! I'm neglecting my adoring public. For shame. And also, why has no one informed me of my gross overuse of commas? Jesus. Sorry about that. I'll try to cut down.

Anyhow, it should be noted that today I completed one of the "things I've been meaning to do" items. Which as you know really are things that most people do because they are organized and on top of shit. Things like: going to the dentist, getting their hair cut, or registering their motor vehicle - which coincidentally is what I did this afternoon. It had only expired in December so I mean, really 4 months too late isn't that bad right? Yes, some of you may remember one of my very first blog entries from like 2 years ago involved me being pulled over on my way to a swimming lesson for this very same thing. Did I learn my lesson? No, No I did not. Though, I can say that this time I registered my car because Mike is getting a new office and will need the use of his car, and NOT because the man is bringing me down. I mean the man is always bringing me down that goes without saying of course.

Anyhow, I went and got some cash and boogied back to the town office with my fingers crossed, because it would only be karmically prudent for me to be pulled over on my way to register my car after driving around illegally for 4 months, but phew I made it. I would like to know if town clerks sign some sort of paper that says they will work until they actually die of old age. The woman, who is very nice I might add, at our town office must be at least 75. She can't do more than one thing at once, or she messes up. This includes talking on the phone and typing, as well as talking and adding things up on a calculator. And of course this afternoon I was in a hurry - as I'm sure everyone is who is at the town office because let's face it, you never want to go to the town office - ever. If you are at the town office it means you are standing around waiting to pay someone money for some stupid reason. Like registering things. or getting a permit to burn things. So finally it's my turn and she digs around in the nice Tupperware box our registrations are filed in, comes up with it and asks for my insurance card. Oh of course my insurance card is expired - but I have tempted fate too much I think - I cannot leave this place without my registration. I call my insurance company, get them to fax a copy of my card and wait while the nice old lady writes, in pen - as in not types using a computer - my registration out and gives it to me. I was at the town office for one hour. What is the reason for me telling you this really long story? Well the old ladies last name is....Speed. Wow, Irony. That's like if my name were Grace or Hasgoodmanners. Oh, also I was informed that my car registration is now the cheapest it's going to get because of the age of my car - and it's still a hundred bucks a year. Thank you state of Maine!

Enough of that. I am super excited because the Yarn Smackdown begins tomorrow. It's a knitting competition sort of in the style of the assassins game. Did I already go over this? Apparently I'm getting old. So basically a bunch of people sign up and are paired with an opponent. Tomorrow we will all receive a pattern at the same time and begin knitting. When you finish your hat you send it to your opponent - this "kills" them. Then they send you their unfinished hat and you send it to the next person on the list until there is one knitter standing. Picture college basketball brackets - ohhhhh - riighttt - you say. Yeah, it works like that. Wish me luck.

I also watched No Country for Old Men the other night. It rocked. Double Woot! Super super good. Go watch it right now.

I'm out!

Throwing Tea at Parapeligics.

What? What is she talking about, throwing tea at paraplegics?" Intriguing isn't it? That's what we in the biz call "a hook" I will get to that in a moment. First order of business - the list - of course. I finished a kick ass sweater/coat for Mags yesterday. Sorry for the crappy pic. but you can get a hint of the awesomeness from this I'm sure. A couple other events of note which also go on the list, I went to the Rising Tide annual meeting last weekend, which is something I have been meaning to do for years and years. Also, I went to the flower show, which is something I do every year, but I'm gonna make it fit somehow. Hm, I know there's more but I'm slack and I can't think of it right now. Ok, now a little story.


The other day I met my friend Amy for breakfast at the coffee shop, where we had a nice visit, then I purchased a large tea to go. Mags and I then proceeded on to Hannaford to buy a million dollars worth of groceries. I entered Hannaford at the same time as this woman - I presume the mom - and teen aged girl in a wheel chair. Two things you need to know - one is that we ran into them like every aisle, and every time they came down the aisle I was always doing something obnoxious like blocking the aisle and reading labels. Two, I am infinitely paranoid about Maggie saying something rude to people in wheelchairs, since according to my mom, when I was about Maggie's age, that was my deal. Every time I saw someone in a wheelchair I would point and loudly exclaim one of the following: "MOM LOOK AT THAT MAN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? WHY ARE THEY IN A MACHINE?!" embarrassing the hell out of my mother on numerous occasions. Nice huh?

So here I am in Hannaford over by the meat section and Mags says, let's get some Hot Dogs! I swing the cart around, and her little croc shoe flies off. I had been picking them off the ground the entire shopping trip as they were too big and as she grew increasingly more disenchanted with the shopping process, she would swing her legs back and forth really fast in the cart, causing them to fling farther each time. Anyhow, I go to grab the croc in mid fall with one hand, and somehow, I'm not really sure how it happened, I spaz out with my other hand and just fling my cup of tea. The tea (which thank ye gods was only lukewarm at this point) careened in an arch as if being filmed for a sitcom, before splatting on the floor directly under the girl in the wheelchair. Dudes, if there had been a quarter of an inch difference it would have landed directly in her lap.

Mortification. Profound embarrassment. Menacing Vibrations. I say something like "I'msosorryitwasn'thotI'mjusttryingtodotoomanythingsatonceknowwhatImean'mreallyreally sorry" - insert really lame nervous smile here - to the girl's mom. Girl's mom stares at me like I'm a crazy person and says nothing. Girl in chair sits there. Luckily there was a deli guy standing practically right next to me when it happened, AND had a little box of paper towels with him. He hands me the box and I go over to clean it up. Meanwhile my own two year old is sitting in our cart growing impatient, and I start to worry that she will climb out. I rush over to the tea which is all over the floor underneath the girl's chair and start cleaning up. The towels are those crappy industrial kind, so they were about as effective as cleaning with copier paper. The girl's mom did not move the chair, and just stood and stared at me while I stretched and leaned and tried to get the tea up from the floor underneath her daughter's legs. Finally she jerks the chair back and cruises off. "Sorry!" I shout after her. Still not a word. Oh and did I mention that the deli guy was just standing there watching the whole scene and doing nothing for like six hours? Finally he goes into the back and comes out with a mop, which thankfully he used himself, I fully expected he was just going to hand it to me and walk off. I took off and finished my shopping uneventfully. Luckily all Mags had to say was "Mama why did you throw your tea on the ground?" to which I responded "Because I'm a spaz."

Why does the weirdest stuff always happen to me at Hannaford? I seriously can't wait until RT can expand and I can truly do 100% of my shopping there. I think that if studies were done, it would be established quickly that Hannaford is indeed in the center of some vortex of weirdness.

Gak. I will be updating my stats later today. Progressing nicely - except of course the weight loss one, which will be shooting towards success very soon because 1. I dreamed I was on the Biggest Loser last night, I think that's like a sign from god or something and 2. I have some friends who are getting married in October and I have this dress I have been saving for a special occasion or until I can fit into it (sz 8) for like ohhh 3 years. I optimistically purchased it right after I had Mags. But mark my words, I WILL be wearing it to their wedding. I'll post a pic of it on here soon.

Next knitting project - I hope to finish a hat for my brothers in law (yes that's plural, they have both asked for hats) before I start the yarn smackdown competition at the end of this month. I'll post the deets of that later, this is already starting to look more like a novel than a blog.

I promise I will keep you suckas up to date more often, at least twice a week.

More Snow! Yes!

Yeah, it's snowing again. Just thought I'd mention it. The sun was out for about 10 minutes yesterday, but the temp was in the 50's. Mother Nature is such a bitch. Oh also, I think I have strep throat. So I am in a super good mood this morning. Just thought I'd share. Ok, so two reviews this morning. I finally FINALLY finished The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay yesterday, and then last night we watched Gone Baby Gone. Let's start with the book.

The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay took me a really long time to read, about a month, which is super long for me. This is not to say it wasn't an excellent book, it was indeed, the writer Michael Chabon is just really wordy. But wordy in a good easy to read way, not ready in a put you to sleep Joyce Carol Oats way. It's about 2 cousins in NYC right before and during WW2. Without giving too much away, one of the cousins - Joe Kavalier has recently escaped the Nazi's in Prague and is trying to get the rest of his family out. He and his cousin Sam Clayman start a comic book with some other guys. This book reads sort of a like non-fiction account of the comic book business sometimes, and is trying to bridge that gap of creative non-fiction with just enough real facts tossed in to make you wonder. It was an extraordinarily well written book, and I highly recommend it. It's depressing but not too depressing like most WW2 books are. I give it a Double Woot!. Hey it won a Pulitzer, who am I to disagree?

Last night we watched Gone Baby Gone. This was Ben Afleck's directorial debut and I have to say, he really should have gotten an Oscar nomination for this movie. It was brilliantly directed. I can't really say much about this movie without giving too much away. I was literally at the edge of my seat, I put down my knitting and everything! Basically Casey Affleck (yes Ben's bro) is a private detective working with the Boston police to find a missing girl. But here's the thing about this movie, which I actually had read about before hand, except for the three or four major roles in this movie, all the minor roles are played by actual people from South Boston. It gave the movie an amazingly real feeling, in fact Mike observed that it made the major actors, especially Morgan Freeman seem terribly out of place. The other thing about this movie is that it was shot on location in South Boston, and it is obvious that Ben Affleck loves his town. There is one really amazing shot on a rooftop with the skyline of Boston framing Casey's outline. It was great. This movie for lack of a better word, had weight. I literally felt heavy at the end of it. I highly recommend it. I wish I could say more without giving it away, but I really can't It has a couple of rough scenes especially for me, since it does deal with child abduction. But other than that it was awesome. I hope Ben Affleck stays behind the camera from now on. Double Woot!

I'm currently knitting a very cute swing coat for Maggie, hopefully it will be done in the next couple days. Maybe today even if I get my way and lie on the couch all day.

Oh, and two month update, numbers are looking good. Average percentage is 16% which is right where it should be. As mentioned before, some percentages like blogging are swaying the poop sandwich amounts, like exercise. And some of them I have decided are just kind of dumb, like water. I mean I drink ridiculous amounts of herbal tea all day, doesn't that count? Also some of them are going to need to languish until the end of the year, like waste (which I still haven't figured out how to calculate) but I think I am doing pretty well by not using reusable shopping bags, and this summer I'm starting a kick ass compost pile.

Ok, I'm out.

The Dog Ate my Snowshoe

Am I destined to not enjoy any of the spoils of our 100 inches of snow this winter? As you can see from the photo below, alas it seems to be the case. In case you need be reminded, my last foray into the great white wilderness left me with a pair of skis peeled up at the ends like cartoon sardine cans and disintegrated metal spikes for poles. After relaying my tales of woe to my dad (read: whining profusely about my lack of outdoor recreational supplies as well as lack of funds) he very nicely gave me an old pair of snowshoes. Mind you these were not as he so bluntly put it "his good ones". Anyhow, I brought them home, noting that the rawhide bindings would need to be replaced, no bid deal, and promptly stuck them in the snow bank near the ruined skis. Immediately upon bringing them home I noted that Etta, my dog,was sniffing around them a lot but chalked that up to the fact that they came from my parents barn which contains: bats, chickens, rats, god knows what else, and probably also have come into contact with one if not all of my parents three dogs.

The next day I noted that Etta had chewed a bit of the rawhide binding but again, no big whop. Fwd to this morning. Etta was laying on the floor enjoying a nice brushing session from Maggie, who for about a week now has been declaring that everyone either "has a cold" or "doesn't feel good". Anyhow she was saying that Etta didn't feel good when Mike walks in and says "I know why she doesn't feel good, she ate your snow shoe!" To which I kind of shrugged off and replied "yeah I know she was chewing the bindings" He says 'no no, she ate the webbing part. All of it!" Great! Immediately I called my dad who informed me that the snowshoes were made with sinew which is some sort of gross cartilage, basically my snow shoes were made out of the same stuff as rawhide chew toys. The dog is fine. But now I am sans skis and snowshoes. Good thing it's starting to look like spring.

Did you read that last line and say, what? No it's not. It looks gross outside, I don't see any signs of spring! But yes! The first sign of spring has arrived in Mid-Coast Maine. Is it a robin? Budding trees? A glimpse of some small woodland creature? No Way! Sea Basket is open! Sea Basket for you uninformed is a restaurant which sells very overpriced mediocre fried sea food to tourists for most of the summer. I think they might sell regular lobster too, but generally it's consumed in the form of the lobster roll. I haven't been there in years, but at the end of each February when I see the sign "open in 1 week" my heart leaps with the same sort of hope and joy some of you get when you see that crocus pushing it's way to the sun in the melted snow under your dryer vent. It makes me almost as happy as when Bet's Fish Fry marks the beginning of Summer in Boothbay Harbor.

Do I mark all of the seasons with the opening and closing of fried sea food restaurants? Yup. Just these two really. And if you have ever eaten at Bets you will understand why. She serves two things. Fish. Chips. That's it. Don't ask her for anything else. She will yell at you. I'm not even joking. But she sells the best fish and chips ever in the world. How's this for smart - first of all she only takes cash. Second of all she owns the damn boat that catches the fish she sells. How is that for cutting out the middle man? Seriously if you come within 20 miles of Boothbay this summer you owe it to yourself to go to Bets. Oh, also, it's cheap as hell.

Ok, enough non - list related stuff. Couple of updates. Watched Nacho Libre last night. Thought it was very cute and very funny. Gets a Woot! Secondly I have finished a knitting project, that as I mentioned before is a gift, and will be giving to someone then posting pics after. I should be finishing up my book today or tomorrow, FINALLY. Also, the new website I love - Ravelry needs people to volunteer edit knitting patterns on the site. Guess who signed up? Woot for volunteering!

Oh, one last (I hope THE last) update on plowing madness. We have a new guy, er people, and we heart them. So let's hope we keep them for ever and ever.

Poor people are funny!

Last night I watched Fun with Dick and Jane, which starred Jim Carrey and Tea Leoni as Dick and Jane. Jim Carrey is not one of my favorite actors I'm not a big fan of how he turns every character he portrays into Fire Marshall Bill (now that was an old reference wasn't it! Bet you thought I would say the Mask, or Ace Ventura - but no - I went for ye olde laughs)! This movie gets a meh. Mostly because it couldn't decide if it wanted to be funny or dramatic. I personally thought it was very sad.

The premise is simple, Dick and Jane are prosperous upper middle class types living pretty lavishly in I think California. Dick's evil boss - Alec Baldwin - bankrupts his company and steals all the pension funds etc. Enron style. Of course now Dick and Jane, as well as their co-workers are completely screwed. Enter the alleged hilarity, Dick goes and tries to get jobs without success, storming out of a Wal-Mart type store after failing as a greeter then finally hanging out with a bunch of illegals at a Lowe's trying to find work. Um, not funny. I don't really know what they were trying to go for here, funny that an upper class person has to grovel and find his way working with the majority of the population? Eventually Dick is desperate to the point that he and Jane are driven to committing crimes - of course only stealing from those places that cater to the excess of upper middle classers, starbucks, sushi restaurants, jewelry stores, etc. This movie dips it's toe into the pool of what is really going on in this country without taking the plunge, oh and of course the ending is tied up in a nice little bow with Dick and Jane getting their pension back and realizing that money doesn't buy happiness etc. etc. Blech. Don't worry folks you don't need to worry about struggling and paying your bills - it's not going to make you happy! Straight from the mouths of actors and studio execs making more in a month than I probably will in my life time. So -MEH! Take that!

I have a super fun project on the sticks right now, but as I mentioned earlier it's a gift so...sorry no pics. right now.

I'm still off of the celebrity gossip, although I did learn by osmosis that Britney is out running around without her undies on again. Ew. Britney, no one wants to see your cha-cha. Besides, pretty much everyone as already seen it. Jay Leno doesn't even make jokes about it anymore. Just put your junk away.

OH, I started a correspondence class for writing children's literature - I'm super excited. I really think it's going to help me focus as well as being able to get my work in front of people who may actually publish it. I also had another rad idea for a book. Yay! I really want to make some money so that I can transfer to UMA and finish up my degree - only um 11 years after the fact....Please don't e-mail me and tell me I don't really need it etc. etc. I may or may not, but the truth is I'm only like 30 cr. away from a BA, I should really just finish it up.

And finally, I wrote an e-mail to one of the town selectmen to see what was up with the high-speed internet situation in my town (as in there isn't any - yes I really do live in the stone age ok,I do have satellite internet from Hughes but it is HORRIBLE. You can't stream movies, or download books, music etc. because they will then say you are using "an unreasonable amount of bandwidth" and kick off your connection for 24 hours. It's pretty sweet. Oh, and it costs well over a hundred bucks a month. Awesome!) Anyhow she very nicely responded AND asked me to be on the oversight committee for the installation of high-speed in my town. I think I will do it. New thing AND volunteering. Wham! Wham!

That's it. I have to go run errands before another F@#%ing snow storm keeps us trapped for the next 2 days.

End Game.

Don't worry it's not end game for the list. It's end game with the plow guy. I'm totally over it but thought you might like an update. So at last posting he had come and sanded my nearly bare driveway. That was Monday. On Weds. I get an invoice from him with a little note - and I wish I had it I would just post it here - that said something like, "I received your voice mail and came to sand your driveway as a courtesy for you. The 75.00 for plowing we agreed upon did not include sanding, I had been sanding it as a favor. Please note that for next year 2008-09 I will not be plowing in (my town) and you will need to make other arrangements." Um. Ok guy. So what about the time when we hired someone else to sand and were on the verge of firing you and you said "no no, I can come sand" plus, if someone is paying you 75 for plowing that takes you about 20 minutes, is sanding their driveway so that they can pass safely up and down really a courtesy? Blargh. 900 bucks we have given this guy this winter. Anyhow I called him and very nicely told him that his check was in the mail and don't bother coming back this winter, I will make other arrangements. We should just buy a crappy truck for like $1500 bucks and also use it to go to the dump. I think we would be ahead of the game in less than a year. Ok, enough of that.

It should also be noted I am turning into a super bird nerd. We put out a new feeder for thistle last night and this morning it is swarmed with gold finches. I actually squealed with glee. I'm planning a super awesome bird garden this summer with feeders and plants that birds enjoy. So dork rating status: bird watcher, knitter, audio book and NPR podcast consumer, reader, and trivia fiend. I would say bird/nerd meter is at about 40%.

I think I am going to count applying for writing jobs as submissions. Because I do have to send a sample of writing, and it is just as awesome to not hear/get rejected over and over and over. Even if it's not for a regular magazine it still sucks balls. It's still a big "yeah your writing is not good enough to contribute to our crappy website". Whatev, my ego is big enough so may times I can go check out the site and say, "Oh, I get it - my writing was too good, I scared them away. They probably don't think they can't afford me." The thing is I probably charge far less than the plow guy. Hmm maybe I should give up writing in favor of plowing driveways....

Last night I watched Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, starring Val Kilmer and Robert Downy Jr. It should be noted that I would probably watch a movie of Robert Downy Jr. doing a crossword puzzle and give it a Woot! Drug problems aside, he is a fantastic actor and plays everything with an infectious sketchy intensity. Yes, I heart Robert Downy Jr. Moving on..The movie was basically the same old formula for a who done it murder in Hollywood. The great thing was the narration - RDJ - who actually acknowledges the cheesiness of the movie. Also, the dialog/humor in the film was fantastic. A lot was made in the media of the fact that Val Kilmer plays a gay detective in this movie, but aside from a few really good jokes, there was only one place where it played an important role. They avoided the whole "Friend pretends to be gay to get the girl" story line which I feared was going to be the case early on. Anyhow this was a great fun movie, a snarky version of a classic story line. It gets a Woot!

I'm still working on Kavalier and Clay, which is still really good. My afternoon nap has been eliminated, and I used to read a lot during that time, so I have been reading a bit less. I have a super fun knitting project going on right now, but it's a gift so I will share it after it's been given.
Oh, and I decided not to try out for Gilgamesh, not because I am a chicken, but because there was "creative movement" mentioned on the casting sheet. Which means - creative dancing- which means - I'll pass.

You may have noticed a huge jump in my local foods bar - that's because we purchased 1/4 of a cow and paid for 1/2 of our CSA share this year. CSA = Community Supported Agriculture which basically means you pay a certain amount to a farm in the spring and then each week in the summer you get a bag of super fresh veggies. I highly recommend joining one near you. I'm super excited about the cow too, especially with the huge beef recall last week. Hopefully we will be purchasing 1/2 a pig as well. Which is a lot of meat but will be saving us money over all next winter.

I also made up a new recipe last night - a super healthy banana bread with dark chocolate chips. The thing is it didn't really bake correctly it took well over an hour, maybe closer to two. This could be because my oven sucks - which it does - OR that it was just too dense for a bread pan and should have ve been cooked in a cake pan. I will try another version soon and report back. That's it. I'm out.

Wham - 2 projects dunzo!

I finished two knitting projects yesterday! The super funky slippers are for my mom, and though they look kind of weird in the picture, they look great on the feet. The ipod pouch is for Mike, but I think I might make another one as this one is just a bit too big. That little pouch only took me a couple hours, I started it at about 7 and finished it at 11. Woo Hoo! So that makes me pretty psyched.

I'm not sure what to make next. I think I might start this really cute jacket for Mags. My evil plan was to get stocked up with little projects so I'm a bit ahead of the game 30 list wise, and then start a larger project. I have also hooked up with a sock a month challenge via raverly, but am waiting for my new sticks before I can start. I'm a knitting MACHINE!

In other news, the plow guy DID come finally yesterday, you know when it was 45 degrees and raining and my driveway was already 95% defrosted......that's all I have to say about that.

I am currently debating a "new thing" which is whether or not I should try out for a play in community theater. The play is Gilgamesh I dunno, I'm pretty on the fence about it. The try outs are Weds. so I'll keep you updated.

I think that's it for today. Just wanted to post the new knitting projects.