Broken

So yesterday will not go down as one of my finest. It started off with Maggie sleeping in, and by sleeping in I mean 7:45. Usually she is awake around 6, which is why when I made an appointment to get a Tetanus shot at 8:30 in the morning, I assumed it would be no problem getting there on time. I hear you all out there, a Tetanus shot? What did you do, step on a nail or something? No. I was building this:



Not the doghouse part, just the wire part. Chicken wire is really sharp, and I being super smart was not wearing gloves and sliced the crap out of my hands more than once. While I was bleeding and stapling I thought, Hmmm I wonder when the last time I had a tetanus shot was? I called my doctor's office who informed me, not since high-school. They also informed me that I should come in and get one within the next 48 hours so I don't get lockjaw. I'm not really sure what lockjaw is, but it sounds painful and like it would seriously inhibit my ability to talk.

I'm not afraid of shots, I'm tough. Maggie was super excited to come with me to see Mama get a shot, which I thought would be good. Anyhow, she woke up late, so I woke up late and just had time to take a shower, get both of us dressed and run out the door. It is important to note that I did NOT consume either any food, or more importantly coffee before I left. Shot was uneventful. Though I will note, they also updated my Pertussis (whooping cough) vaccine, there has been a huge resurgence of the disease because people (in Maine especially) haven't been vaccinating their kids and so these diseases which aren't usually around are back, intermingling with us vaccinated people and making super bugs, so now they are re-vaccinating adults. Thanks Hippies!

After the appointment I really really needed coffee. I need coffee like a crack whore needs crack. In fact, the previous evening I was discussing coffee with my grandmother, who is, to be blunt, on her death bed. She is not allowed to have coffee for a number of reasons most of which would contribute to her dying much more quickly than she is. Anyhow I told her that I pretty much don't even want people to speak to me before I have coffee in the morning, which is not an exaggeration. I really don't. The one place in Wiscasset that is on the way back to my house which might have served coffee, and I made the mistake of telling Maggie also has huge cookies, doesn't open until 10. WTF! 10? They are missing out on a lot of angry people that need coffee and huge cookies. Maggie was promised a huge cookie because she has successfully filled in an entire row on her potty chart. I am some how adding this onto the 30 list, even though technically it's her accomplishment, it's a big fracking deal around here. No more diapers.

No coffee, no cookie, now add screaming kid because no cookie. Get home attempt to make coffee. Once about every six months or so, the coffee pot freaks out - I don't think it's human error since I make coffee successfully every other day so I attribute it to an act of god, or kitchen elves - and the coffee just spews everywhere but the pot. Grounds and water run everywhere. As you can guess that is what happened yesterday morning. So, I did this:



What is that you ask? Oh that's my cabinet door sans panel, because I kicked it and busted it out. Wow! I'm strong! No, not really I kicked it pretty lightly, ok moderately with the toe of my ugly dress shoes. Clearly my cabinets are not made of very strong stuff. Am I embarrassed I had a temper tantrum and kicked out the panel of my cabinet door? Yes indeed I am. I should be made of stronger stuff. Lack of coffee and a shot first thing in the morning should not send me off the rails, but it did, so there you have it.

Ok, but that's not all. In a cruel ironic twist - later on in the afternoon I was running across my living room barefoot. I don't recall why. However, I smashed my pinkie toe on our hearth which is made of huge rocks. I am quite sure it's broken. I'm quite sure there isn't much that can be done for a broken pinkie toe. I am quite sure this is going to put a major crimp in my jogging since it hurts so bad I can barely walk. It should be noted, my arm hurts like a bastard where I got the shot yesterday I can't even lift it over my head.

On to the actually 30list update: I knit this bag:




It just needs to have the button sewn on and it will be 100% done.

We disconnected Directv which contributes to a few categories: less tv watching, more movie watching, something I've been meaning to do, and reducing household expenses. Don't worry, we still have netflix - we aren't neanderthals for god sakes. But honestly, we were paying like $70 per month to watch Lost and Battle Star, and now since they are both over until January - goodbye TV!

I finished a fantastic book: Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates, by Tom Robbins. For some reason it took me a long time to get into reading Tom Robbins, a lot of my friends read his stuff in high school, but I'm glad I'm discovering it now, I think it makes a lot more sense to me than if I was 18. Anyhow, what can be said about this book without giving too much away. It's about this guy named Switters who is an ex-CIA agent confined to a wheelchair and goes on some crazy adventures around the world. Um, I can't really say too much more than that. It's really hard to sum up a Robbins novel. Seriously, please check it, or anything else he's written, you will like it. Double Woot!

We watched Part 1 of Grind House - Planet Terror, the other night and I absolutely loved it. Grind House was that Double Feature homage to B-movies that Tarrantino and Rodriguez did a few years ago. Planet Terror is a super cheesy zombie movie. A lot of people didn't like these movies because of their cheese, but hello, it's mimicking these particular movies. It was hilarious, super gross but so over the top gross it was grosser than gross and so not that gross, if that makes any sense at all. If you like zombies and super cheese, you will love this movie. Double Woot.

Ok, that's enough for now. Practically a novel.

Oy Vey!

As predicted I finished The Yiddish Policeman's Union a couple of days ago, and it was a great book. The premise is kind of weird as it's a detective story set in Sitka Alaska which happens to be a city of 3 million Jewish refugees who moved there after WW 2 instead of going to Israel. So, it's kind of an alternate reality, as in the city and premise for it are all fake, but it doesn't have that new-agey feel that most alt. reality books have, it just happens to take place in a made up city, in a world that had a much different outcome after WW 2. Michael Chabon is a genius. I don't know why I haven't read any of his stuff before, well actually I do, he won a Pulitzer for his book Kavalier and Klay and I usually stay away from award winning books since they are usually boring as hell. For example- James Joyce -can I get an amen? While Chabon is pretty wordy and overly descriptive its' in a way that isn't boring. In fact I liked his writing so much that I went right back to the library and got Kavalier and Klay - the Pulitzer winner - and it's great! I also picked up All the Pretty Horses by Cormac McCarthy, I have developed a real liking for his work as well after I read The Road - which I also highly recommend but be warned, it's really disturbing. And when I say disturbing I mean it - this is from a rabid SK fan, this book actually made me nauseas and I had to actually put it down and walk away from it for a few hours, but then I picked it right back up and finished it in less than 2 days....so yes, I'm a sicko but it's a great book.

I also finished a slipper/sock made out of the fab. super bulky I got for my birthday. These things knit up quick since it's on #10 needles and the yarn is all huge. I would probably be done with both of them if I hadn't had to rip out about half of the first one after I finished it and restart it. But now #1 is finished and #2 will be going on the needles today. It should be noted that the pattern for these socks really blew goats. That is one of the really annoying things about knitting patterns, there is really no standard. For example in this pattern, you knit around with 4 dbl pointed needles, then you drop 2 for awhile and then it says "pick up stitches and knit " it doesn't say - pick up stitches with your other 2 dbl points and knit around. Which was confusing. Anyway, now I know, and sock 2 should go much more quickly. All you knitters should check out the gusset in the pattern linked above just so you can say "ohhh, I see - Lame"

Last night we went to Lowe's while the rest of the country was watching the Superbowl - it was awesome! That place was deserted, it was like shopping on x-mas day! I mention this because I think it's weird that a sporting event basically cleans out major shopping centers like Lowe's - and Wal-Mart where we ventured afterwards. Anyhow, we purchased a bunch of stuff that is definitely going to help the little house project bar move. Hooks for the backs of all the doors, as well as 2 jars of sample paint for my kitchen and living room. Whoever decided to start selling those little cans of sample paint is a damn genius. Because custom paint colors - meaning - anything not white is expensive for the good stuff, and you should get the good stuff, it's about 28 bucks per gallon, and it's not returnable. So for my kitchen I was totally inspired by a couple friends of mine each with fabulous red kitchens, and I got Barn Door Red. For my living room I got Pinecone, which is a medium brownish color. What?! Red and Brown? Your house is going to look crazy dark! Actually I get a ton of light in this house so I can do darkish colors, also my house is sort of open concept so the colors will be right next to each other and fairly complementary. It should be noted that this is Martha Stewart paint, you could probably guess by the names, and yes I love Martha. She's kinda bitchy but she does things right. Which leads me to my next thing to tackle.

On my list of things I've been meaning to do, or maybe it can count as kindness, I haven't decided yet, I'm going write 3 pieces of fan mail. A long time ago I read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (oh and yes I am a Dale Carnegie class graduate! Google it) and it talked about recognizing people who are inspiring to you. More recently I read My Life In France which is sort of an autobiography of Julia Child, I saw sort of because it was completed after she died by her nephew who used transcripts and letters etc. It is one of my favorite books ever, and you should put it on your list as well. Anyhow, she talked about how she had framed photos of people she found inspiring, generally other chefs, her cooking school instructor etc. on her wall. THEN just the other night I was watching Conan O'Brien and noticed he too has framed pics of people he finds inspiring on the wall of his studio as well. So, since two of my great inspirations, Julia Child, and Ken Kesey are dead and I highly regret not writing to them to tell them how much I have been inspired and motivated by their works, I am going to write actual letters, not e- mail, to Stephen King, Martha Stewart and Anthony Bourdain. Yeah it may seem like cheesy people to be inspired by, but they are my people I'm sure you have yours. I may eventually write even more, like to Joss Whedon, and Barbara Kingsolver, but right now I'm gonna write to my top 3. Wish me luck.

I guess that's it because this morning Maggie's tolerance for me writing is 0% and my tolerance for listening to her whine is also 0%.