Long overdue update - part 1?

Sorry for the long delay! This is a long overdue update (duh you can read the title right?) that I'm probably going to have to break into two parts. First off - I have some photos for y'all finally. The first two concern two goals I have achieved in the "things I have been meaning to do" cat. Coincidentally I feel that one, nay perhaps both of these may now qualify me as a redneck. Please discuss amongst yourselves - which makes me more "red"? Would it be my new ghettofabulous clothesline?



or perhaps the box of chickens in my living room:



Either way, I think that both are nudging me a bit closer to owning a shotgun.

Sorry for the wonky alignment, blogger and I are not really getting along so well today. Moving right along, I have completed two more knitting projects - some slippers for my mom:



I also finished a little purse thing for myself but I haven't taken a pic. of it yet. What else is new you ask? Well it should be noted that this is blog post 30 - so 100% for that goal!

I finished another book - Black Olives - I forget the author, I give it a meh. It's about this older woman who's boyfriend breaks up with her and then like 9 months later she sees him at the store and climbs into the back of his jeep and hides while he drives around. It was pretty lame, but didn't totally suck. The ending was super weak though, and I despise a weak ending. Why bother putting in all that work if you are just going to puss out at the end? Lame. So Black Olives - Meh!

This week I watched Pirates of the Caribbean 2 - Black Pearl - which I give a Woot! Yes it was about 45 minutes too long, and the ending was a cliff hanger and yes it was Disney, but it was entertaining, has a good story, and my boy Johnny of course. Hey this is my blog and if I can automatically give good ratings to movies just because they contain Johnny Depp or John Cusack, I'm going to. That goes for books by Stephen King too. Deal with it! So Pirates 2 gets a woot!

Last night we watched Lady in the Water, which was written and directed by M.Night Shamalamadingdong. I'm going to give this a reluctant Woot! It really straddles the line between Woot! and Meh! It was a pretty good family movie, if I was about oh say 13 I would probably be freaking out about how cool it was. M.Night wrote himself into the movie and acts in it which I give a resounding BOO HISSSS! THUMBS DOWN! Don't do that again Mr. Shamalama - please. Good Directors do not make good actors. Well, unless you are Clint Eastood but that's neither here nor there.

Now for a new weird portion of my blog, which I guess also falls into the things I've been meaning to do cat. I'm going to keep track of weird trends/coincidences that I feel are not coincidental. For example, lately I have been intrigued with the idea of the suns rays having antibacterial properties (radiation? anyone? anyone?) because of the clothesline. Since I first heard that, I have heard it a few more times, about not only the sun being antibacterial but the idea of gross things dying in the light.

Ok, so today I was at the library and went upstairs to see what they had for Tom Robbins books (Still Life With Woodpecker, Even Cowgirls Get The Blues, etc.) as I was making my way over to Robbins, some books by Salinger, J.D. caught my eye, and I grabbed a copy of Franny and Zooey which I loved in high-school but haven't read since and have recently heard mentioned a bunch of times in the media. I had 2 Robbins books to chose from: "Skinny Legs and All" or "Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates". I chose the later because on the inside of the jacket where it describes the book it says the following: "Moreover, the internationally acclaimed, best-selling author, with his love of language, nuance, and surprise, is as opposed to story summations as J.D. Salinger." - which I thought was kind of weird since I had just randomly picked up a Salinger book - then here's where it got even weirder - "Robbins also has said that throughout the writing of Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates he was guided by the advice of Julia Child "Learn to handle hot things. Keep your knives sharp. Above all, have a good time." Now, most of you know, (if you know me) that I freaking love Julia. I even have an autographed pic. of Julia. I just feel that the combo of these two statements on the jacket of this book to be very odd in a specifically pertinent to my life kind of way. It is these kind of little blips and coincidences that I'm going to try and use to make future choices, or at the very least recognize their existence.

This blog is far too long, and I will be adding a part 2, hopefully tomorrow. With more pics. AND news of my new exercise regime. Oh, also check out the Klog, I have been sporadically been updating that as well. Ciao!

My Career

Thinking of titles for things is hard. It's one of the most difficult parts of writing, for me anyway. I get stuck on titles for inordinate amounts of time. Anyhow, the title of this blog isn't very good. It is not witty and does not have any puns. I apologize, thank you for reading it even though I paid little if no effort luring you in.

Still progressing on the list. About 23% completion average over all. Some, like blogging are at nearly 100%, in fact I think this is entry #29. Don't worry, I won't quit after 30. The writing portion of the list has really seen a jump thanks to my new reporting job, yes I am counting my articles as submissions and my time writing them as writing time. In one short month I am up to 16. Boo Yaa! Lagging behind as you can see - weight loss, water consumption, and exercise, which clearly all go together, oh and as a result of my new job - reduction in driving has fallen by the wayside since I am cruising around to meetings all the time. I've read some great books and seen some kick ass movies - I'll get to those in a sec. and am feeling pretty rocktastic over all.

Good News! For those of you who remember the great XCS debacle of last winter, I was at a yard sale on Saturday and bought a fat pair of Rossignol ski's with poles for.....$10!!! Score! Now I wish it would snow just one last time so I can use them. I will just have to wash them and gaze at them lovingly until next winter.

In cooking news, I have been trying some new recipes, and am excited to try a new ingredient that I am mildly obsessed with. What is it you ask? Lard. That's right. Rendered pig fat. A friend gave me a jar of homemade lard the other night, and since then I have been reading all about lard. It's the wonder fat! For example, did you know that it has less fat and calories than butter? AND doesn't have any trans fats but twice the amount of monostaurated (good fat) than butter? Why is everyone afraid of lard? Because all the stuff you get in the store is hydrogenated in order to make it shelf stable. Otherwise you have to keep it in the fridge or freezer. I could go on and on about lard, but I'll stop now. Though I will say, the lard trials of '08 are probably not going to help my weight loss goals any.

I read Last Night at the Lobster (because Stephen King had a blurb on the back saying it rocked) and of course it did. It's a short book about the manager of a Red Lobster in Mass. on the last night that it's open. Sounds boring right? It's not though, I recommend it. Double Woot!

Been watching a lot of documentaries lately. The Shakers by Ken Burns was absolutely fantastic. If it wasn't for the whole celibacy thing, I would totally be a shaker. They should just ditch the celibacy thing and watch their population soar! I think their philosophies are fantastic and very relevant even for today. Shakers by Ken Burns Double Woot!

I went and saw This American Life Live, at the Strand Theater in Rockland. Before the movie we ate sushi at Suzuki in Rockland. Best. Sushi. Ever. I ate raw Maine shrimp. Who knew? I had been cooking them all this time, when I could have been just throwing them in rice raw and eating them. This place is the real deal. Please go there and eat you will thank me. We saw the movie at the Strand, which I have never been to, actually if you must know, I don't go to Rockland much because I'm scared of Rockland and think it's kind of gross. However the Main St. is so pretty and dare I say, hip, you forget that one street over it's totally skank. I'm sorry Rockland, I should have given you a chance. The Strand also rocks. It's an old theater totally restored, and has a very old timey feel. They feature really cool movies, the marquee stated that they would be showing Blade Runner next. Sweet! Oh, and here's the best part, there is a bar in the theater. People were drinking beer and watching the movie. Wow. Genius I tell you. Ok so, on to TAL, it was amazing. Totally weird to see all the people that I listen to on the radio all the time. Do you not know what TAL is? It's a radio show click here. It featured scenes from their new show as well which I have added to my queue. Double Woot! I'm feeling generous with my woots these days.

Hmm, what else? Oh knitting. I was knocked out of the 3rd round of the Yarn Smack Down! fairly easily since I totally slacked and didn't start the hat until the day after I got the pattern. I made a sweet pair of leg warmers for a very deserving toddler, and am currently knitting some slippers for my mom. I think that's it for now. More updates soon.

Be well bitches!

Did you miss me?

It's been awhile yes? I've been doing lots of things, very busy, working on the list, living life and whatnot. Very quickly, things are going quite well. I am now in week three of my life as an ace reporter, and let me tell you it's not as easy as one may think. I cover really boring meetings and then need to turn them into relatively interesting articles. But I'm not complaining, it's fun and I'm amassing an elite folder of clips which I can than use to propel my career into the stratosphere. Also, I have written about five articles so far which I am totally counting as submissions and am writing like a fiend. My mood about life has improved greatly and I am not sure if it's due to the increase in writing or the massive amounts of sun we have been graced with over the past few days. Either way, woot for me.

I finished Blood and Smoke by SK and it was rad of course. I also read Running With Scissors which I highly recommend. It's an autobiography of a guy who sort of gets adopted my his moms shrink. The thing is that the shrink and his family are totally nuts and though the situation is actually quite horrific, the author Augsten Burroughs, writes in a really engaging and humorous way so as not to totally bum you out. I have heard that the movie is really good too. It gets a double woot!

Speaking of movies I watched Lucky Number Slevin the other night and was ready to be disappointed but was pleasantly surprised. This is a a typical crime with a twist ala Snatch, type movie but the difference was it had some of the best dialog in a movie I have ever heard. It was very witty and humorous. Single Woot!

I completed round two of the yarn smack down and will be moving on to round three on Saturday. Although I really like doing competitive knitting, the last round I went to bed only when my left hand looked a lot like one of those petrified chicken feet you buy at the vodoo store, and I couldn't straighten it out. Luckily after a good night sleep I was able to wake up early finish my hat and send it off to kill my opponent.

Today I went outside and raked like a mad woman and didn't really make as big of a dent in the leaves out front as I would have liked. Granted I haven't raked out there in about three years, and now inspired by the Botanical Gardens have decided that I really like the look of "clean woods". I'm debating vacuuming up leaves with my shop vac. Then I will be the lady that vacuums the woods. Am I ready to take that step in neurosis? Perhaps.

Wow you are saying. Things are going well for Ms K. Is anything going wrong for you? Well thanks for asking! I am completely paranoid that after all of the day's raking I am covered in Lyme disease infested ticks even though I took a shower. I feel all creepy. It's gross. Think about having lice. See how you are all skeeved out and itchy now? Yeah, like that. Also, I have a zit inside my ear. That's probably too much information for y'all but it really hurts. So other than hallucinating bugs all over me and having acne in my ear, life is good. I hope all is well out there.

Victory is Mine!

Lots of great news to report so let's just dive right in shall we? First off, I got a job this morning with the Wiscasset Newspaper as a part-time reporter writing about such fascinating things as town meetings, school news, and transposing the police blotter! Although the pay is an astounding 7.50 per hour. Which I THINK is minimum wage, I will need to drag my reporter ass onto the website of some sort of state agency, I am so happy to have this job. This is the job that you have to learn how to be a reporter and write interesting things so that you can move on to bigger and better things. Also, I can totally do most of it from home or in the evenings with little disturbance to my schedule of watching Maggie! Yahoo!

Moving on to next sweet thing, I totally won the first round of Yarn Smackdown! Woot! It really came right down to the wire, my opponent and I were both mailing our hats literally within minutes of each other, she in Tennessee and me in Maine. Surprisingly the Maine USPS was faster! Actually, I might have won because our dinky little PO closes at noon on Saturdays so afternoon deliveries have to wait until Monday. As you can see, I sent her a pretty sweet hat! Actually you probably can't tell the sweetness just from the pic. but it has 6 inches of k2 p2 ribbing, which believe me is a pain to do simply because it's boring and 6 inches is a lot longer than you think. Er, that sounds kind of dirty. It also has cables and a sweet pattern on the top achieved by decreasing a certain way. I wish I had taken a better picture of it now. Oh well. Cest La Vie. So now I just wait to see who the other winners are, and the pattern will be released for round 2. Just so you know, I got the pattern for this hat at 5pm on Weds. and it was in the mail at 4pm on Thursday. That is ridiculously fast knitting.

I watched two movies this past week, and was surprised by both. I saw Notes on a Scandal which was totally creepy, and not in a good scary way but in a Judy Dench trying to seduce Cate Blanchette sort of way, to which I respond to by gagging and giving it a big old poop sandwich. From other reviews I thought I would really like this movie but no, no I did not. The second movie I watched was Match Point, a Woody Allen film starring Scarlett Johansen and a bunch of British people. This movie was fantastic, not Woody Allenish at all. You know how some Woody Allen movies are so obviously his that it just seems like all the parts are played by Woody Allen wearing costumes that look like other people? This was not like that at all and I give it a Woot!

I finished Dark Tort, a really light murder mystery by Diane Mott Davidson, which is part of a series of books which outline the adventures of a mystery solving caterer. They are about as heavy as Nancy Drew, so it was a nice touch after Kavalier and Clay. I also listened to an audio book by Stephen King, "The Man in the Black Suit" was pretty light for SK, a collection of kind of old timey stories. I just started another collection by him "Blood and Smoke" which is not light and quite gory. SK the man himself reads both of these collections and for some reason I find it to be a zillion times scarier. Probably because he reads it exactly the way he intended it to sound. I am "regular" as in not audio, reading Running With Scissors which is also really good and I can already tell will probably get a good review from me. Oh yeah, the ratings - Dark Tort gets a woot, and SK gets a Double Woot.

And last but not least, our bird feeder has been going crazy and I identified a bunch of new birds out here - Mourning Doves, Some sort of WoodPecker, I think a Cedar Waxwing and day before yesterday Mike and I saw 3 huge Turkey Vultures fly over so I'm counting them too. That's long enough for one post. Cya.

I'm just a big liar.

I was just re-reading my last post and have come to the conclusion that I'm just a big liar. I did not update my bars as promised, or finish hats for my brothers in-law, or post a pic of my dress, AND here it is 5 days after I said I would be writing twice per week, and this is my first entry! I'm neglecting my adoring public. For shame. And also, why has no one informed me of my gross overuse of commas? Jesus. Sorry about that. I'll try to cut down.

Anyhow, it should be noted that today I completed one of the "things I've been meaning to do" items. Which as you know really are things that most people do because they are organized and on top of shit. Things like: going to the dentist, getting their hair cut, or registering their motor vehicle - which coincidentally is what I did this afternoon. It had only expired in December so I mean, really 4 months too late isn't that bad right? Yes, some of you may remember one of my very first blog entries from like 2 years ago involved me being pulled over on my way to a swimming lesson for this very same thing. Did I learn my lesson? No, No I did not. Though, I can say that this time I registered my car because Mike is getting a new office and will need the use of his car, and NOT because the man is bringing me down. I mean the man is always bringing me down that goes without saying of course.

Anyhow, I went and got some cash and boogied back to the town office with my fingers crossed, because it would only be karmically prudent for me to be pulled over on my way to register my car after driving around illegally for 4 months, but phew I made it. I would like to know if town clerks sign some sort of paper that says they will work until they actually die of old age. The woman, who is very nice I might add, at our town office must be at least 75. She can't do more than one thing at once, or she messes up. This includes talking on the phone and typing, as well as talking and adding things up on a calculator. And of course this afternoon I was in a hurry - as I'm sure everyone is who is at the town office because let's face it, you never want to go to the town office - ever. If you are at the town office it means you are standing around waiting to pay someone money for some stupid reason. Like registering things. or getting a permit to burn things. So finally it's my turn and she digs around in the nice Tupperware box our registrations are filed in, comes up with it and asks for my insurance card. Oh of course my insurance card is expired - but I have tempted fate too much I think - I cannot leave this place without my registration. I call my insurance company, get them to fax a copy of my card and wait while the nice old lady writes, in pen - as in not types using a computer - my registration out and gives it to me. I was at the town office for one hour. What is the reason for me telling you this really long story? Well the old ladies last name is....Speed. Wow, Irony. That's like if my name were Grace or Hasgoodmanners. Oh, also I was informed that my car registration is now the cheapest it's going to get because of the age of my car - and it's still a hundred bucks a year. Thank you state of Maine!

Enough of that. I am super excited because the Yarn Smackdown begins tomorrow. It's a knitting competition sort of in the style of the assassins game. Did I already go over this? Apparently I'm getting old. So basically a bunch of people sign up and are paired with an opponent. Tomorrow we will all receive a pattern at the same time and begin knitting. When you finish your hat you send it to your opponent - this "kills" them. Then they send you their unfinished hat and you send it to the next person on the list until there is one knitter standing. Picture college basketball brackets - ohhhhh - riighttt - you say. Yeah, it works like that. Wish me luck.

I also watched No Country for Old Men the other night. It rocked. Double Woot! Super super good. Go watch it right now.

I'm out!

Throwing Tea at Parapeligics.

What? What is she talking about, throwing tea at paraplegics?" Intriguing isn't it? That's what we in the biz call "a hook" I will get to that in a moment. First order of business - the list - of course. I finished a kick ass sweater/coat for Mags yesterday. Sorry for the crappy pic. but you can get a hint of the awesomeness from this I'm sure. A couple other events of note which also go on the list, I went to the Rising Tide annual meeting last weekend, which is something I have been meaning to do for years and years. Also, I went to the flower show, which is something I do every year, but I'm gonna make it fit somehow. Hm, I know there's more but I'm slack and I can't think of it right now. Ok, now a little story.


The other day I met my friend Amy for breakfast at the coffee shop, where we had a nice visit, then I purchased a large tea to go. Mags and I then proceeded on to Hannaford to buy a million dollars worth of groceries. I entered Hannaford at the same time as this woman - I presume the mom - and teen aged girl in a wheel chair. Two things you need to know - one is that we ran into them like every aisle, and every time they came down the aisle I was always doing something obnoxious like blocking the aisle and reading labels. Two, I am infinitely paranoid about Maggie saying something rude to people in wheelchairs, since according to my mom, when I was about Maggie's age, that was my deal. Every time I saw someone in a wheelchair I would point and loudly exclaim one of the following: "MOM LOOK AT THAT MAN! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THEM? WHY ARE THEY IN A MACHINE?!" embarrassing the hell out of my mother on numerous occasions. Nice huh?

So here I am in Hannaford over by the meat section and Mags says, let's get some Hot Dogs! I swing the cart around, and her little croc shoe flies off. I had been picking them off the ground the entire shopping trip as they were too big and as she grew increasingly more disenchanted with the shopping process, she would swing her legs back and forth really fast in the cart, causing them to fling farther each time. Anyhow, I go to grab the croc in mid fall with one hand, and somehow, I'm not really sure how it happened, I spaz out with my other hand and just fling my cup of tea. The tea (which thank ye gods was only lukewarm at this point) careened in an arch as if being filmed for a sitcom, before splatting on the floor directly under the girl in the wheelchair. Dudes, if there had been a quarter of an inch difference it would have landed directly in her lap.

Mortification. Profound embarrassment. Menacing Vibrations. I say something like "I'msosorryitwasn'thotI'mjusttryingtodotoomanythingsatonceknowwhatImean'mreallyreally sorry" - insert really lame nervous smile here - to the girl's mom. Girl's mom stares at me like I'm a crazy person and says nothing. Girl in chair sits there. Luckily there was a deli guy standing practically right next to me when it happened, AND had a little box of paper towels with him. He hands me the box and I go over to clean it up. Meanwhile my own two year old is sitting in our cart growing impatient, and I start to worry that she will climb out. I rush over to the tea which is all over the floor underneath the girl's chair and start cleaning up. The towels are those crappy industrial kind, so they were about as effective as cleaning with copier paper. The girl's mom did not move the chair, and just stood and stared at me while I stretched and leaned and tried to get the tea up from the floor underneath her daughter's legs. Finally she jerks the chair back and cruises off. "Sorry!" I shout after her. Still not a word. Oh and did I mention that the deli guy was just standing there watching the whole scene and doing nothing for like six hours? Finally he goes into the back and comes out with a mop, which thankfully he used himself, I fully expected he was just going to hand it to me and walk off. I took off and finished my shopping uneventfully. Luckily all Mags had to say was "Mama why did you throw your tea on the ground?" to which I responded "Because I'm a spaz."

Why does the weirdest stuff always happen to me at Hannaford? I seriously can't wait until RT can expand and I can truly do 100% of my shopping there. I think that if studies were done, it would be established quickly that Hannaford is indeed in the center of some vortex of weirdness.

Gak. I will be updating my stats later today. Progressing nicely - except of course the weight loss one, which will be shooting towards success very soon because 1. I dreamed I was on the Biggest Loser last night, I think that's like a sign from god or something and 2. I have some friends who are getting married in October and I have this dress I have been saving for a special occasion or until I can fit into it (sz 8) for like ohhh 3 years. I optimistically purchased it right after I had Mags. But mark my words, I WILL be wearing it to their wedding. I'll post a pic of it on here soon.

Next knitting project - I hope to finish a hat for my brothers in law (yes that's plural, they have both asked for hats) before I start the yarn smackdown competition at the end of this month. I'll post the deets of that later, this is already starting to look more like a novel than a blog.

I promise I will keep you suckas up to date more often, at least twice a week.

More Snow! Yes!

Yeah, it's snowing again. Just thought I'd mention it. The sun was out for about 10 minutes yesterday, but the temp was in the 50's. Mother Nature is such a bitch. Oh also, I think I have strep throat. So I am in a super good mood this morning. Just thought I'd share. Ok, so two reviews this morning. I finally FINALLY finished The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay yesterday, and then last night we watched Gone Baby Gone. Let's start with the book.

The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay took me a really long time to read, about a month, which is super long for me. This is not to say it wasn't an excellent book, it was indeed, the writer Michael Chabon is just really wordy. But wordy in a good easy to read way, not ready in a put you to sleep Joyce Carol Oats way. It's about 2 cousins in NYC right before and during WW2. Without giving too much away, one of the cousins - Joe Kavalier has recently escaped the Nazi's in Prague and is trying to get the rest of his family out. He and his cousin Sam Clayman start a comic book with some other guys. This book reads sort of a like non-fiction account of the comic book business sometimes, and is trying to bridge that gap of creative non-fiction with just enough real facts tossed in to make you wonder. It was an extraordinarily well written book, and I highly recommend it. It's depressing but not too depressing like most WW2 books are. I give it a Double Woot!. Hey it won a Pulitzer, who am I to disagree?

Last night we watched Gone Baby Gone. This was Ben Afleck's directorial debut and I have to say, he really should have gotten an Oscar nomination for this movie. It was brilliantly directed. I can't really say much about this movie without giving too much away. I was literally at the edge of my seat, I put down my knitting and everything! Basically Casey Affleck (yes Ben's bro) is a private detective working with the Boston police to find a missing girl. But here's the thing about this movie, which I actually had read about before hand, except for the three or four major roles in this movie, all the minor roles are played by actual people from South Boston. It gave the movie an amazingly real feeling, in fact Mike observed that it made the major actors, especially Morgan Freeman seem terribly out of place. The other thing about this movie is that it was shot on location in South Boston, and it is obvious that Ben Affleck loves his town. There is one really amazing shot on a rooftop with the skyline of Boston framing Casey's outline. It was great. This movie for lack of a better word, had weight. I literally felt heavy at the end of it. I highly recommend it. I wish I could say more without giving it away, but I really can't It has a couple of rough scenes especially for me, since it does deal with child abduction. But other than that it was awesome. I hope Ben Affleck stays behind the camera from now on. Double Woot!

I'm currently knitting a very cute swing coat for Maggie, hopefully it will be done in the next couple days. Maybe today even if I get my way and lie on the couch all day.

Oh, and two month update, numbers are looking good. Average percentage is 16% which is right where it should be. As mentioned before, some percentages like blogging are swaying the poop sandwich amounts, like exercise. And some of them I have decided are just kind of dumb, like water. I mean I drink ridiculous amounts of herbal tea all day, doesn't that count? Also some of them are going to need to languish until the end of the year, like waste (which I still haven't figured out how to calculate) but I think I am doing pretty well by not using reusable shopping bags, and this summer I'm starting a kick ass compost pile.

Ok, I'm out.